Confrontation

So, I haven't written about anything to do with the following in a long time. That is partly because it is deeply personal and also partly because I like to pretend that it isn't happening when I can. But, after today, I feel like I need some kind of outlet. I will try to give a brief synopsis of the situation up to this date, and then explain what happened today.
First, if you remember, my dad remarried over a year ago. He married a woman who has since caused untold havoc in my life. She is rude and inconsiderate, manipulative, emotionally and verbally abusive, and she particularly likes to say bad things about my mom. She was born on September 18th, which is the day that my mother died. She likes to make jokes about that, but the most hurtful thing she said that she was "grateful" for my mom's "sacrifice in dieing" and that she just "knew something good" would happen on her birthday that year.
Other than that, she likes to yell at my sister for silly little things, like leaving a cupboard door open (even if she wasn't the one to open that cupboard). But, to make a really long story short, the situation has been pretty bad for my sister. She's been trying to avoid confrontation, hoping for it to get better, but it hasn't and in some ways has gotten worse.
Today it became even worse when my sister decided to stand up for herself. My dad's wife demanded that Lizzy clean up her room immediately. When Elizabeth refused, she, I guess you could say, freaked out and went off on a power trip. My sister told her that she wasn't going to put up with her abuse anymore. My dad's wife followed Lizzy into her room and stood there blocking the door. She stood in her room for 3 hours, refusing to leave until my sister cleaned her room. Elizabeth told her that she would clean her room as soon as my dad's wife left the room, but the wife refused. She said, "I don't make compromises." My sister called me for help. I, being so far away, didn't really know what to do. The wife refused to talk to me, calling me "childish" (wow, and yet she was acting the way that she was?). So, I talked to her through Elizabeth (I really felt childish doing that, but it wasn't what I wanted). All she would say is that SHE is the boss, she is in charge around there, that she didn't make compromises and if my sister couldn't deal with that, then she would have to leave.
Well, I'm sorry, but it is CHILDREN who refuse to make compromises in a conflict situation, or very immature people who think that refusing to make compromises make you look weak. She said that what she wanted was for Lizzy to clean her room, but when she was given that option, she refused. That tells me that what she REALLY wants, is to dominate. She wants to exercise unrighteous dominion. Either that, or she really just wants to get Elizabeth out of the house and make sure that we (all my sisters) are no longer a part of my dad's life. But, I've kind of felt like she was trying to drive a wedge for a long time.
So how did the problem get resolved, you ask? Well, I called my dad while Lizzy called someone from church for some help. That person suggested a compromise that we hadn't thought of: Lizzy would strip down the bed while the wife was in the room, then the wife would leave (by the way, I've always referred to her by her name before this, I just don't want that kind of association on my blog right now, plus, I'd prefer not to use names except for my sister, since I've mentioned her time and time again) and Elizabeth would finish cleaning the room. She, again, refused to compromise. By the way, we asked her to be civilized and she also said that she doesn't make compromises. Being civilized is a compromise?
Elizabeth used the excuse of taking the laundry down, and escaped her room. In the meantime, I called my dad. I told him what was going on, but he was on a conference call, so he couldn't really talk. He said he would figure it out when he was done with his call, which he said should be soon after. Well, a while later, he got home. He and the wife left for lunch. On the way out, the wife said that she expected the room to be clean by the time she got back.
That was my dad's solution to the problem. Maybe he talked to her over lunch, but I feel like nothing was resolved. Maybe the resolution will still come, but I wonder if there is a resolution to this situation. The wife obviously refuses to be a civilized person and respect us just because we are her husband's children, if nothing else, and she also refuses to compromise, but without a compromise, she is just being a b***h. (Sorry, I don't like to swear, but I can't think of another word that adequately describes how she is acting, PLUS she used the word to describe herself, so for me that makes it fair game). Plus, I don't see my dad ever standing up for any of us if that means disagreeing with his wife. Its funny because he didn't use to be that way . . . But, its like he is afraid to disagree. I'm not saying he has to always take our side (that would be just as wrong as never taking our side), but allowing his wife to verbally and emotionally abuse his daughters is not acceptable.
The only solution I can come up with, is for Lizzy to move out. I just don't know where she can go, especially since other family members have demonstrated their unwillingness to let her stay with them, and I can't afford to pay for her living expenses. If I had a real job, I would let her stay with me until she found a job, but I can't afford it...
Anyway, I'm sorry to unload all this on you, but I already talked about it with my friends and was still frustrated at the lack of a resolution. I hate being down here. Of course, I probably would have punched her if I was up there, and that wouldn't have been good, but I hate feeling helpless...

Music and Mayhem

I really need to be better about keeping up with my blog. It seems that time just flies and I have every intention of saying something, but then I get caught up in everything else that I am doing and it just doesn't happen...
That's really no excuse, but it helps me sleep at night :) So, today started off as a normal Saturday: sleep in, Gizmo wakes me up, start doing absolutely nothing . . . (Left - Jon Schmidt in a crazy red wig while playing at a concert) Ok, I did laundry after my landlord came and fixed our dryer. But then I actually did something. That's right, I forced myself to sit down and do some homework. Truth be told, I really needed to get a lot more done than I actually did, but what can you do.
Later, a friend of mine called to see if I wanted to go to a concert with her. She said that she wanted to go with someone fun, so somehow she thought of me. I admit, I can be fun sometimes, but I don't think I'm usually the first person who comes to mind when the word fun is spoken. But in any event, I figured I needed a break and decided to go with her.
We went to see Jon Schmidt. I didn't really know who he was (sheepish grin) but after I looked him up online, I realized that I had heard his music before. (Right - Aimee, Jon Schmidt, and me. I don't know if you can tell from this picture, but Jon and I both have bandaids on our thumb and pointer finger on our left hand. We aren't calling you a loser, don't worry). Now, that is definitely saying something if people who don't even know of the artist have heard their music enough that it is familiar. For those of you, like me, who aren't clear about who he is, he is an incredible pianist, a nice guy, and an entertaining performer. He did lots of crazy things, like playing upside down, playing with his toes and even his face at different parts of the concert. He also put on a red wig during one song. It was great and very enjoyable.
Afterwards, my friend and I got our picture with Jon Schmidt. It was interesting because it turned out that Jon and I both had band-aids on the exact same fingers! Of course, mine aren't from playing a piano, but that doesn't really matter, now does it.
It was a great time, and although I am now utterly exhausted, I'm glad that I went.

Pumpkin's are evil

I don't really think pumpkins are evil, I just had a heck of a time tonight with one. I've had a pumpkin sitting on my counter since, well, Halloween. I've been telling myself that I was going to cook it and we would have fresh pumpkin, but it just kept sitting there. So, tonight, I decided to cut it open and cook its flesh (See left). That was much tougher than I thought. It wouldn't have been so bad if I had some kind of steamer, but I had to boil it, and to do that I needed to remove the outer shell.
Well, I slipped a couple of times while I was cutting the pumpkin open. One time I sliced off a huge chunk of skin. It started bleeding profusely. I put on a bandage, but soon realized that one just wasn't going to cut it (ha ha, really bad pun) when I noticed that blood was leaking through the pores. I didn't know band-aids could bleed... (see below). Well, the pain didn't stop there. I also cut a couple of times into the tip of my thumb. I'm lucky I didn't cut my finger off, and if I ever decide to have a fresh pumpkin again, I'm going to get a steamer so I can just steam it in its shell.
That was only one of my adventures for the day. Besides that, Sara and I went grocery shopping. A new store just opened up here in Provo called Buy Low Market. Sara got a part-time job there, so she brought home their ad. I was happy to see that they were having a sale on chicken for $.99/lb! And that was for boneless, skinless chicken breasts. Unfortunately, we had to buy a 40 lb box to get that price. I didn't really know how much 40lbs of chicken was until I saw the box. When we got it home, we started separating it to put in our freezer. We got half-way through when I decided that we could not handle 40lbs of chicken. I had already planned to offer some to my cousin's family (Adam and Betsy) but now I really hoped that they would want some, so I called them up. To my great delight, not only did they want some, but they were willing to take half! They even went and bought a 40lb box for other family members (Josh and Catie, my other cousins, are sharing a box with Jim and Carla, my aunt and uncle). Between us all, a lot of chickens had to die.

Gaza

Most people who know me and/or have read my blog know how I feel about the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. With what has been going on in Gaza, I've been thinking a lot more about the situation over there. It is all very sad to me because I've been there. I've met Israelis, I've met Palestinians and I can see and understand both sides of the conflict. Sometimes I wonder if peace is even possible when so many wrongs have been perpetrated by both sides. However, I tend to lean towards the Palestinian side. I guess its because I am the kind of person who supports the underdog. I'm the kind of person who watches a fictional movie and when someone has mean pranks played on them say, "How horrible! That's so mean!" And that isn't even real! I once had someone say that I am a champion for the underdog, and I think that is true. But, that is not the point of my entry tonight.
A few of my fellow BYU-JC students got together tonight to watch a documentary called Promises. It is a documentary of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict as shown from the eyes of children, both Israelis and Palestinians. There was a rather diverse group of kids, from Palestinian extremists to Jewish extremists, and then some in between. I think it showed the broad spectrum of the conflict. There are so many people in this world who believe in stereotypes. In this case, the Israelis are the good guys and the Palestinians are the bad guys. What they don't see is that there are Israelis who are good guys and Israelis who are bad guys just as there are Palestinians who are good guys and Palestinians who are bad guys.
After the documentary, we had a discussion. There were a couple people there who haven't been to Jerusalem. They didn't say much so I'm not sure how their views differed, but talking with my fellow JC-ers, I realized how much the experience of living there changed my perception. My views are very different from the majority of the students at BYU, or even from the majority of Americans and I think that is because I have a perspective that you can only get from living there. However, you can come very close through this documentary.
Is there hope for peace? I think there is, but only, as several of the kids pointed out in the documentary, if Israelis and Palestinians get together and have dialog. Without that interaction, there is no hope for peace because neither side will ever be able to understand the other.
Anyway, I found a song about Gaza that I really like. Check it out on youtube if you like.
It was written by an American named Michael Heart, who manages to give voice to a people who really have no voice in the West.

Happy New Years!!

Happy New Years!! Welcome to 2009! It is weird, each year seems to go by faster and faster. I remember exactly what was going on around this time last year. Lots, actually, especially since I was getting ready to go to Jerusalem. (Left - playing Nerts. Around the circle you'll see Brittany, Adam, Sara, Elizabeth, Betsy, Catie, and Josh) I almost wish something exciting like that was happened right now. But, I'll take what I can get.
Sara, Elizabeth, and I went over to Adam and Betsy's house tonight (as in for New Years Eve). Josh and Catie came down from West Jordan and Brittany came down from Brigham City. (Right - Brittany holding Daniel). It was a lot of fun. We played games, had lots of good snacks, and pretty much just had a great time. We played Nerts, which was a big hit, and I also taught them to play Bang! I don't think they enjoyed that one as much, but I sure liked it.
By the time we were done, everyone was exhausted. (See left). I really would like to do more things like this, especially since we have family so close. (This last picture is me and Gizmo since we hadn't been photographed for New Years yet).