Frustration....and tears

I think that my day has been well captured by the title of this entry and the picture above. Today has been a stressful day. My dad got back last night with his new wife. Everything was fine, or so I thought, until we got home from church. They brought back with them another dog and another cat. The dog was shut up downstairs while our dog was upstairs. If I had known that the dog was downstairs, I would have locked my cat up in my room. That was a big mistake. When we got home, we discovered that the dog had peed in my room and my cat was nowhere to be seen. We commenced to call his name, search his favorite hiding places, try and entice him with a treat and a feather, but he was no where to be found. Finally I got out my flashlight and started shining it in dark spaces. That is when I found him hiding under my bed. I tried once again enticing him out, but he wouldn't budge for anything. I had to move my bed and pull him out. When I pulled him out, he was shaking.

I went upstairs to find out who was going to clean up after the dog because I refused. That may sound cruel, but she's not my dog and I wasn't about to clean up after her. But then again, if the other dog had peed in my room, I would have had the exact same response. In fact, I've made my sisters clean up things like that when I consider them to be partially at fault. Anyway, I went upstairs and my dad sounded like he was telling me to clean it up. I told him that I wasn't going to clean up after that dog because she isn't my dog. He said, she's a family dog, and I replied, she's not MY dog. We did that a couple more times before my dad freaked out on me telling me that Deb was his wife and that I needed to respect her and lots of other things like that. I finally said, what does that have to do with the dog peeing in my room? But by then I was so upset and so frustrated at my dad and at the fact that he just doesn't get it, just doesn't understand that I put on my shoes and my coat, got my cat, and went outside to sit on the porch. My sisters followed. I guess my dad mopped up my floor and when I came back inside, we disinfected and tried to comfort my cat. But he was still traumatized and kept trying to hide under the bed.
After lunch, we had family home evening (like we usually have on Sundays) but my dad wanted to talk. That was hard and more tears followed, but I feel better because at least now my dad knows how we feel about most things. At least he cared enough to listen, though I wonder if it will make a difference. Right now I feel like things are too late. As much as I love my dad, it may very well be too late for us to have any kind of relationship. That is, unless my dad cares enough to work on it and put some effort into it. Only time will tell.
Anyway, I guess that is about all for now. I am in Bismarck until Saturday morning. By then I will need to have my suitcase packed and ready for Jerusalem. Then hopefully I will meet Heather in Montana on the way down.
Other than that, I started teaching my sister Elizabeth to drive. Unfortunately, we've had to use my brother's car which is NOT automatic and so it is much more difficult, but at least she is starting to learn. That's what matters.
As for me, I'll be fine. I am going to Jerusalem in barely over a week, and then when I come back, I will be at school until I graduate and have to go into the real world. That is why I say it may very well be too late.

What city do YOU belong in?

I have to say that I don't agree with this at all. Partly because I have a thing against French people. I know, I know, but I'm only prejudiced against the French. Just kidding, not really, I just have had some bad experiences with French people and so I don't think I would ever want to live in France. And besides that, I don't think this description describes me at all.

You Belong in Paris

Stylish and expressive, you were meant for Paris. The art, the fashion, the wine! Whether you're enjoying the cafe life or a beautiful park... You'll love living in the most chic place on earth.

What City Do You Belong In?

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

I hope that everyone has had a great Christmas. I thought I would take this time to share my Christmas with you, starting with Sunday, the 23rd. (Left - Every year our capitol building lights up certain rooms for Christmas to make a Christmas tree. Here is the best picture I could get of it). That was the day that my dad and older sister left after less than one day of being in Bismarck. We opened a few presents on Sunday while they were here. Then after they left around 2:30 in the afternoon, Lizzy, Sara, and I had the house all to ourselves. We decided to plan what we would do with the generous donation we received, and also plan what else we wanted to do this Christmas.
Yesterday, Christmas Eve, Sara and I ran a bunch of errands to get ready for today. We bought some food and other things and did other things that needed to get done while Lizzy worked. When she got off work, we went to see a movie: Dan in Real Life. It was a good movie and interesting considering our situation right now. But I won't go into too many details there.
After the movie we went over to Elder and Sister Johnson's apartment for dinner. They are the CES missionaries here. They also had a family over, Marilee, Dan and Zach. It was a very nice dinner and a lot of fun. Sara was feeling pretty sick so we left. But, we have a family tradition (well my mom's tradition) to go and see Christmas lights. Sara wanted to come along even though she was sick, so we drove around looking at lights. (The picture here and above are from seeing lights. First, the capitol building of course, and then Lizzy and Sara in the car, then me driving, and finally one of the houses that we saw. We also sang carols while we drove, though Sara was excused, of course.) There was one house that somehow had their lights timed to a radio station. It was really cool (see video below).
Then we came home and watched It's a Wonderful Life before going to bed.
This morning I didn't get up too early, but first thing we went to the cemetery to take flowers to my brother's and my mother's grave. (Left - my brother's grave. Next below is my mother's grave). After that we came home and Sara gave a Christmas lesson before we opened our remaining gifts. Lizzy gave some things she made, a scratch board picture and a picture that says "Families are Forever." Sara gave me a flash drive. My grandma gave me a travel kit with shampoo and the like in it. In my stocking I got a framed 4x6" picture of my family (that's the nice thing about Santa Clause being your cousin) and some treats. Gizmo got a container of grass and a feather. (Left - Sara giving her Christmas lesson). He really liked his presents. Xavier got a rawhide cane. Unfortunately, he freaked out with it and we had to take it away from him. I'm not sure exactly what happened, but Sara was over by him while he was chewing on it and he started growling. (The next three pictures including to the right, is of my sisters and me with our presents. First is Sara, then Elizabeth, and finally me. I am also with Gizmo's presents). That is unacceptable behavior, so I went over to him to teach him who is boss. He really freaked out and started not only growling, but barking and snapping. He got me pretty good on the face, but I took him down and bit his neck. He learned, at least for now, that I am alpha. But, he still didn't get his treat. We'll try again tomorrow, but if he is going to act that way when he gets treats, he won't be getting them anymore.
After that, we had our Christmas feast - KFC chicken and biscuits. We then went to see another movie: Fred Clause. It was actually better than I expected. I really enjoyed it. We also saw Enchanted. That was really good, too. Then we come home. It was a nice, relaxing, and quiet day. (Left - My battle wound. It actually bled for a long time, but the wound is superficial. But, now I know I can take a rabid dog! Just kidding, he isn't rabid). Tomorrow we will hopefully get more practical things done that I need to do before going to Jerusalem.

I'll be HOME for Christmas!

I'm not sure if this picture will work, but I thought I would give it a try. I got it from facebook, I didn't make it myself, but I thought it was cute. I'm DONE WITH FINALS!! It was a long, but quick week, and now I have a few hours of work before I will be headed home for Christmas. I'm really excited about that. It will be good. I hope everyone else has a great Christmas and New Year. I will probably write again before the end of the year, but if not, have a good one!

Christmas is coming!!!

Well, finals are half over, at least time-wise. I only have one final left, so for me I am almost done, but I have to wait until Friday morning at 7 am for that final. That is too bad because otherwise I would be able to leave earlier and hopefully get into Bismarck that much earlier, too. But, as it is, we will be leaving sometime after 5pm on Friday to drive back to Bismarck. Before that time, I have to pack everything. I am not looking forward to that at all.
Yesterday I went with my roommate, Heather to see a friend's band perform at the Muse. (Right- me at the Muse. There was a very distinct atmosphere that is hard to describe. But I think this picture captures it well). We got there on time and learned that no one shows up on time, not even the band! Just kidding, most of the band was there, just not my friend who got out of a final late. But we listened to music, took pictures, and had fun. She (Jenna) showed up about 30 minutes late. She sang one song and then someone else performed for a few songs. Then it was her turn. (Left - Jenna and her bandmate, Sabrina? I don't remember her name). It was very good. Unfortunately, all the music was very soft and had a slow tempo. Add to that the fact that I was very tired, and towards the end I was ready to go to bed. We left after 2 hours. But still, it was very enjoyable.
Today I took my only really difficult final, Russian 321 (grammar). There was so much information. I felt like my head was jammed full! But, I took it and that is what really matters; it is over. I think I did alright on it, though not as well as I wanted to. Still, I can't complain.
Also something unexpected happened today. A friend from work gave me a Christmas present. I was very surprised, but happy to get it. She gave me a photo album with scrapbook pages in it. It is very cute, and I really like it. It made me happy.
Tonight I am going to the TRC at the MTC to listen to missionaries teach in Russian. I haven't been to the MTC in over 2 years, so that should be very interesting. I'm excited about it.
I guess that is it for now. In case I don't get a chance to write, MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!!

Dancing, shopping, sushi, and . . . ballet?

This weekend has been an interesting one. I don't know where to start, but, I guess I can start with the beginning, which is Friday night. Last night was our ward's Christmas party/dance. I was a little hesitant about going because so many bad experiences are associated with (church) dances. But, my roommate is on the activity committee, so I figured I should go to show my support. (Pictures here are of my roommate, Heather, and I wearing our name tags). Plus, there was a free meal and I never turn down a free meal. So, I caught a ride up to the UVSC institute building where it was being held. The meal was delicious, soup bowls and salad. After dinner, the bishop talked a little and then the dance began. Everyone was given a name tag with a Christmas-type name on it, or rather half of one. The girls had one half and the boys had the other half. For example, a guy would have "Jingle" written on it and then a girl would have "Bells" written on even feel like I know where to start. It was supposed to happen that for the first slow dance, the guys were supposed to find a girl with a matching name tag and ask her to dance. I had "North" and so I was supposed to dance with a guy who had "Pole" written on his name tag. You can guess what happened during the first slow dance. Basically most guys just found a girl with whom they wanted to dance and it didn't matter what was on the name tag. I didn't dance with a single "Pole." Part of the problem was that we had more girls than guys, the other part was that a lot of people left before the dance even though they had a name tag, so the balance wasn't even, and the other part was just that most of the guys weren't willing to put any effort into it. Still, it was fun, at least during the fast dances, and I danced two slow dances.
Then today, I went shopping with my new friend, Mindy (See right), who is going to the Jerusalem Center next semester, too. We went up to the American Fork DI. There was a lot of good stuff up there and I was able to get basically all the clothing that I need for next semester (See left - me with everything that I bought). It was a lot of fun. We also stopped at Seagull book to get some undershirts.

After that, I went up to Salt Lake with Kalia, a girl who served in my mission. We met up with some other old mission comrades. (Picture to the right - Valoree as a sushi master). I tried my first eel. It was very interesting. We made sushi, which was great, and had some Asian drinks. (Picture to the left - Kalia and I rolling Sushi, though you can't see it, with Jon standing by the eel in the background). Then we were supposed to go see The Nutcracker ballet. (Right - Tyler and Valoree - Val got a hold of my camera and was taking pictures at our Sushi party). I was really excited to see that, but wasn't looking forward to spending the money on the ticket. (Left - Kalia and I eating our Sushi rolls that we made. I made mine with eel, of course). Unfortunately and fortunately, we were late and then couldn't find the theater, so we decided to just go around Temple Square. (See following pictures)

Me and ValoreeMe, Valoree, and Kalia watching the Nativity

We saw the lights, the tail-end of the Nativity show, the Christus, candles, and nativity scenes. It was great. (To the right, even though I didn't get to see the ballet, I still got to see the Nutcracker!) We also went to a place called the Lamb's Grill (or something like that) near Temple Square for hot chocolate. We got them with a scoop of ice cream in it, and that was really yummy.
(Picture below- me, Kalia, Jon, and Valoree in front of a Chrismas tree).
After our hot chocolate (Picture below: me, Valoree, Jon, and Kalia), we literally ran back to Temple Square to make it back for the Joseph Smith movie. That was my first time seeing it, and it was really good. We then headed back. It was nice to see some people from the mish, great to see Temple Square with all the lights, and just fun to hang out. Oh, and I learned the hard way that used shoes still have to be broken in. I wasn't expecting to do so much walking . . . and running, so I wore a pair of shoes that I bought today. Now I have blisters on my pinky-toe. You probably can't tell from the picture here (see below), but one of the blisters in heart shaped. Its pretty weird.

Another awful day

Today has been another horrible day. It didn't start off that way, actually. This was my last day of classes and this morning on my way to work I was astounded by the beauty of a Christmas tree and snow (see picture). It made me feel like Christmas is near, and that is definitely a good thing. Then after work I went to my last two classes of the semester. I learned that a guy in my Russian grammar class is also going to Jerusalem next semester, and that made me get even more excited. The more people who share in my excitement, the more excited I get.
Well, after that class, I came home. I have two take-home-finals that I already have and so I began working on them. In the midst of that, making lunch, and watching a movie, I learned something disturbing and horrific. This piece of news shocked me so much! It is still hard for me to believe. Basically, a girl (well 26 year old woman) from my homeward gave birth to a little girl last week and the baby died within a half hour. This woman has been charged with first degree murder. I don't know what has led the authorities to believe that the death was intentional, that this woman killed her baby, but knowing her and some of her problems, I unfortunately believe it at the same time that I completely reject the idea. What is even harder is that she isn't just some person from my homeward, but while I was home, I visit taught her, I talked to her, I know her well. She is facing life in prison or possibly life in a mental institution. Either way, her life is over. I wonder what the truth is. I wonder how she feels right now, how her family feels, and I wish I could do or say something to help. But as with most tragedies in life, there is nothing to be done or said. Each person involved must learn to continue on even when that seems impossible. Every trial that comes will change us. It is OUR choice whether that change will be for better or for worse.

An awful day

Today has been a horrible day. It didn't really even hit me until about 20 minutes ago. Now I want to scream and throw sharp objects and do other things of that nature. I don't even want to go into the details. (Picture to the right is from our most recent snowfall, though it is once again melting). I'll just say this, today was not horrible because of anything that happened to me or anything that I did, but it is because of the selfishness and disregard of one particular person who happens to have a great affect in my life.
On a brighter note, I finished all my homework today, so all I have is my final class period for each class, then finals and I am done for this semester. But, I can't even say that I am excited to go home. Right now, I am excited to go to Jerusalem and that is the only bright star in my life.
Also, this last weekend ended up being a very busy one. I already told about the service project. Well, Sunday was a busy day. Besides church, we went to choir practice for the first time, then later to watch Joy to the World with people, then to the Juvenile Detention Center for a musical devotional, to ward prayer, and finally to a Christmas sing-a-long (see picture above). It was a lot of fun.
The yesterday we went to our ward's FHE. It was a service project. (See picture to the right). We colored books to help kids learn to read, wrote letters to the troops, donated food and toys, and for ourselves we decorated Christmas cookies. It was a lot of fun, though very tiring. I always get exhausted after such large social functions. I guess that's because I'm an introvert. But, still, it was fun and the cookies were delicious.
Tomorrow is my work's Christmas party and Friday is our ward's Christmas party. That means the rest of this week looks just as eventful! Plus I need to go shopping for Jerusalem. But I don't know if I'll have the energy to do all of that.

Rain and Snow

After being so happy to finally have a good first snow, and actually having it last several days, I was disappointed to leave my final class yesterday only to find it pouring outside. I had to walk to my car in the rain and got soaked. You can't really tell very well from this picture (see above), but my hair is soaked, my sweater is soaked, and so is my backpack.
Then, I was pleasantly surprised to find that it had snowed a little this morning. Our ward had a service project and we went out to the Food Bank to help with the food drive. On our way out, we noticed that my car was very nicely decorated by the snow fall (see above).
When we arrived, we signed in, put on our nice orange vests (see left: this is my roommate, Heather, and me), and went outside in the snow to unload cars. We sometimes got a string of cars, trucks, and/or vans full of food (see below). It was a lot of fun and nice to be able to help. It was also really great seeing how much food is being donated. Plus, you can't beat getting blessings!

I'm an Elf!

To spread some Christmas cheer, I have become an elf. Check it out at:
I'm an Elf!
It is pretty funny, and yes, that is my voice.

On a different note, my roommate decided to learn to knit, so yesterday I got to teach her. Here that is:

FIRST SNOW!!!

So, we finally had our first real snow fall here in Provo. I really hope that it lasts until I go home for Christmas. I woke up yesterday morning completely oblivious to what had happened while I slept. I didn't even notice until noon when I went into the kitchen to make lunch. I looked out the window and was overjoyed to discover that snow had fallen and more than just a little! This morning, it was still on the ground and my roommate and I spent several minutes taking pictures. We couldn't resist the beauty of the wonderful white world around us. There is something about snow that makes me happy. I don't know what it is, but I can't be sad when I see snow on the ground. Maybe that is why I want snow to fall as early as possible.
Today I started getting even more excited about going to Jerusalem. Maybe you are sick of hearing about this, but I can't help talking about it. I realized that in 1 month and 5 days from today, I will be on a flight to Jerusalem. How crazy is that?