from Russia

18 сентября 2006
Дорогая Илизабет,
How are you doing? Thanks for your letter! Thanks, for the riddle, too. I have to admit I laughed when I read your letter. You are one funny girl.
So, it’s so weird to me that in a few days I will have been in Russia for a year. I can hardly understand where the time went. I got a phone call the other day asking me where I want to fly into when I go home. Не уже ли я поеду домой!

20 сентября 2006
I really don’t know what else to write because I just wrote home today. But I think what I will do is send you a paper I translated about writing a personal history. This will be a task for you. The next time you have the lesson at FHE, I want you to pull this out and introduce it to the family. You will probably want to get a lot of index cards (or maybe just a package at first) so that people will have an easy way to start. Then explain that everyone needs to start collecting information from their memories.
First, some good starting hints: 1) gather information, as much as possible. 2) Don’t try to pack too large of a period of time into one section. 3) Write every experience like a story, in chronological order. 4) Add details to make it interesting and to draw a picture for the reader. 5) Don’t use words like hard, good, wonderful, or very fun, etc. DESCRIBE the words or give examples. 6)When you write about someone, at least one time, write the persons full name.
Now here are ideas of where to start: (With these, put each section and questions on an index card to make arrangement easier and to give time to gather as many stories and as much info as possible).
Introduction: Where you were born, who, what, when, and where.
0-5 yrs: memories from before school: home, parents, grandparents, brothers, sisters, pets, fav. Toys, who took care of you, illnesses, or sudden changes
5-10 yrs: school, teachers, where you lived, food that you liked, games you played, where you spent your summers, friends, etc.
10-16 yrs: school, teachers, classes, crushes, fav. Clothes, friends, dates, vacation, summer time, family, work, difficult decisions, music you like, awards and diplomas
(where applicable) other categories you could include if you are old enough: college, grad school, mission, before marriage, 1st year of marriage, first child and so on. Group it by a few years at a time as you see fit.
Ideas of other things to include: Group these in the categories you choose from above to make the writing process easier.
1) Work that you had
2) Difficult decisions you had to make
3) Spiritual experiences
4) Places you lived
5) People you loved; who moved
6) People who influenced your life
7) World happenings that changed your life
8) Family and distant relatives
9) People w/whom you lived
10) Different schools where you studied
11) Summer vacations
12) Places you’ve been
13) Best friends
14) How you found the church (if applicable) or how you gained your testimony
15) Your testimony
16) What you would like to do
17) Musical instruments you play
18) Music you like
19) Your hopes and dreams
And anything else you would like to add.
REMEMBER: When you add pictures, write full names of every person from left to right and only add pictures that illustrate your story.
When you remember someone, write the full name at least once in every story, description, or experience.
Keep it chronological. You don’t have to write about every year but don’t jump back and forth.
Write what you would want to leave for future generations. . . to help them know you.
So, please do this and if it works w/ everyone there, you may want to consider getting this sent out to others in our family. It would be great to have for grandma and grandpa, etc. But, at least get it started in our immediate family. Give them time to get things started and encourage them to think about it throughout the week so they can continue to work on it and not just have it pushed to the side and forgotten.
That’s probably all I have to say for now. Maybe I’ll have more before I get this sent off.

С любовью,
Сестра Атвуд

figs and goats

Dear family,
I’m not feeling so great this week. I think I am getting sick. I’m trying to not let it get to me, but that’s hard. The weather took a change for the worse and got pretty cold but now it is warmer and I think the change has affected me. But, we’ll see what happens. I only have to keep working hard for about two weeks and then I will get a break when my companion goes home. She leaves Oct. 5 but we have to be in Самара (Samara) a few days before that, so I will have a day or two to rest there before I get a new companion on the 6th. I’ll find out about that next week. I’m not really sure what is going to happen because two sisters are leaving and no new ones are coming. 4 new sisters are coming the transfer after that and so I think they will probably not close a city (It would be kind of silly to close a city only to reopen it 6 weeks later). I have two theories about what is going to happen. Either, I will get a mini-missionary (as in a Russian without the full-time calling) or one of the sisters from Саратов (Saratov) will come to Энгельс (Engels) for me to show her the area. If I get a mini- I will be in Энгельс to the end of my mission. If one of the sisters from Саратов comes, I will probably get transferred next time when the new sisters come. We’ll see. Next week will tell me a lot.
So, unfortunately, a lot of things have been reminding me that I am leaving soon. I have 3 months left. That’s still enough time, but I feel sometimes like it is not enough to do everything that I want to do. By the way, I find out that I am for sure leaving the 21st. I will be home for Christmas so I hope Becky is still planning on being there. That would be the best Christmas ever if she came. I found out because the office called to find out where I want to fly into. They have already bought or are in the process of buying my plane tickets. I hope I will be flying into Bismarck. The office Elder sounded like he didn’t know how to get me there so I told him if needed to, I could fly to Fargo. I just hope that won’t be the case. But, that’s not very important. At least you know I will be home in time for Christmas. That phone call really set me thinking, though. Then with my companion leaving in two weeks, it is really hard not to feel the passage of time.
So, this week was a little difficult. We had several people fig us (as we call getting stood up). That wasn’t very fun. One lady has goats and she wanted us to meet her in the field where she tends her goats. (See picture to the left - this was actually taken in Пенза (Penza), but goats are a fairly common sight within city limits. The lady we were supposed to meet with has larger goats than this one) We didn’t really know how to get there but luckily, we saw the goats and headed over. It ended up being her husband. He told us that his wife had gone to Саратов and wouldn’t be back until late. While he was talking with us, one of his goats decided to try and play with me and head-butted me. That was quite an experience. Luckily, she was playing and it didn’t hurt, but then she tried to eat my companion’s skirt. I was afraid that she was actually going to take a bite out of it. That’s an experience that will probably never get repeated. You gotta love times like those on the mission.
We had a really good lesson with one of our investigators the other day. We were talking about the 10 commandments and she started telling us when we got to “thou shalt not steal” that it is impossible to live here without being dishonest at work. For example, she said that she makes 1,700 rubbles a month (that is only like $60 a month). That only is enough to pay for their house and a few other necessary bills and leaves nothing to buy food for her two children. So, she uses the work phones to call her mother and prints off things for herself and uses the computers for personal things. She thinks she is justified because she makes so little. That is really the case everywhere here because no one makes very much money. The problem is, I think no one makes enough money because everyone steals from work and so the employers make up for it by cutting pay. There are several people who work in kiosks and they up the prices to get more, or they take things home with them.
That conversation led into how our investigator is thinking that she is going to have to give up her dream of being a doctor to feed her kids. She has no hope for a better life. I asked her if she prayed about it, to know what to do. She hadn’t, so we asked her to pray, with faith, and then everything would work out. She just needs to believe that it is possible to be a good person and live with all the necessities of life. We had a member with us who is a good example of that. She literally has nothing, but somehow she has enough. She even somehow ends up with enough to go to the temple. Why? Because she has the faith to live the commandments and rely on the Lord. If more people here had that kind of faith, people would not have such a hard time in life. I wouldn’t say that life is easy for this member who has no money, but she never has to worry because she trusts in the Lord.
(See picture above - Колотилова Ольга, the member who was with us at our meeting)
Other than that, we talked to an old man on the street the other day. He is really smart and is one of the few old men that I have met who doesn’t believe that communism was better. That’s interesting because he served in the army and got medals from both the Russian federation and the USSR. He served during the war and even though he says he doesn’t believe in God, he said that while serving in the war something saved him. He doesn’t know what it was. At first he said God but that now he doesn’t believe in God, but later he said that maybe it was some higher power or even his own strength. That was a little sad, but we invited him to church and he promised to come if he has time (his wife is blind and so he has to do a lot of things at home to take care of her). There are so many good people here who just don’t know anything else. And so, they have no hope that things can be better. I keep looking at these people and I am amazed and I feel such a great love for them and a strong desire to help them find hope, to help them understand that there is something better waiting for them if they will only accept it. That is a very hard thing to do, but it is still worth the effort.
So, I’ve slacked off a little in responding to emails. Grandma and grandpa, thanks for your email. Sounds to me like the dinner rotation is a good idea. I wish we did that here. But, I’m actually eating better here than I did while I was at BYU.
Lizzy, I guess you have a lot of revising to do. I’m glad you enjoy doing that. I hope the job works out, too. I’m assuming that next semester means starting in January, right? That will be really good, too.
Mom, thanks for sending that letter off. I hope everything goes well for his surgery. That’s crazy that we have so many missionaries! Though, maybe that isn’t that many. It seems to me like I am the only one. Maybe that is just because I know nothing about them. I don’t even remember who and where. I guess I’ll see when I get home. Am I the next one to come home, or is there someone coming home before that?
Sara, you really need to not get back into the habit of writing such little emails. It really isn’t worth your time to write so little. I think this is what you can do. Every night, take a review of your day and write down somewhere the funny/interesting/new things that happened that day so you won’t forget. Then you can write those to me. Yeah, I think that will be best. Remember Sara, I only have 3 months left. That means you only have 3 months left to earn blessings from enduring to the end.
Dad, that’s great about the family history work. I’m glad that you are finding names even if they aren’t direct ancestors or real relatives (as you put it). I’m sure they are still very happy to be found.
Well, I can’t think of anything else to write right now except that we are having a party today. It is a chocolate revel bar party. We are going to the sisters’ apartment, ordering pizza, and they are going to teach us how to make chocolate revel bars. I’m pretty excited about that. On Friday, we have conference. I’m also looking forward to that. I hope it will be the boost that I need. Its been a longer wait this cycle and I really need that boost on a regular basis.
By the way, I am still waiting to hear the response about tapchki. I don’t want to buy them if no one will wear them, but I think it would be a really nice thing to have at home since we have so little carpet. Let me know ASAP about that.
I guess that’s about it.

Love,
Сестра Атвуд

time flies

Dear family,
Thanks to everyone who wrote me this week. I’ll start by responding to those emails.
Lizzy, that’s great that you were able to get what you want. The Little Mermaid is coming out in 2-disks! That’s great! Is Sister Bundy the institute teacher or something? Sounds like institute is going to be really interesting this year.
Sara, that is something seriously disturbing to me, country is your favorite? Who ruined you? I get a headache just thinking about it. (No offense intended to anyone who likes country). As for the object lessons, what did the glass of milk lesson teach you? Sounds like seminary is also going to be fun for you. And you don’t have to be embarrassed if you didn’t have to look at the board while reciting your scripture mastery. Seriously, Sara, I found out more about you from mom, but at least this week’s email was better than last weeks.
Both Lizzy and Sara, it would work out better now if you ONLY sent your emails to my gmail account so I don’t get two copies. Thanks.
Mom, I would have liked to see the dvd about the trek. What did they show? That’s too bad about my car. I hope it won’t be too expensive and I hope that it won’t be too big of a problem. It seems to me that everyone from our ward is getting called to the same place lately. There was another pair, too, right? That’s good, though I’m still the only one way over here in Russia.
Dad, thanks for getting those emails sent. Wow, I really hate having to install new software all the time, but it will be good to have that updated. Good luck on updating your software, yikes! If the people at the temple ask more, tell them I love my mission, I love the people, and I love the work, it is just hard to see people I love make decisions that I know will not lead to happiness in this life or the next. It is spiritually and emotionally draining. For example, last Thursday we went to see one of the less active members we are working with. She lives in a run down house not too far from where we live. She has no telephone but we had set up an appointment with her the last time we were there. Her situation is very difficult. She got baptized barely a year ago and after that got divorced from a man who is now also less active. She started living with another man without marriage. They broke up until she found out she was pregnant. They started living together again but he drinks and always threatens to leave. They were supposed to get married, but someone broke in and stole his passport which means that they have to wait to even be able to get married, but she continues living there. She had her baby not too long ago and she really likes us to come see her. (See picture above, I am holding her baby, Катя (Katya)) She considers us to be the only friends she has and tells us that when her daughter grows up she will hear about her “aunts from America”. Even though she has made some wrong choices and continues to do so, I still love her and I want to help her, but she won’t leave the bad situation she has put herself into. On Thursday when we came, her husband was standing outside talking with a man, he let us in and when we got to where we could see this girl, we noticed a cut on her forehead. She told us in a whisper that he had been drinking. She wanted us to stay with her until he went to bed because she said he wouldn’t do anything while we were there, but we couldn’t. But she still won’t leave, even after that. She doesn’t think she has anywhere else to go. She doesn’t believe that the atonement will work for her and always talks about how she can’t come to church because of her sin. It is REALLY hard to see that and not be able to do anything to help her. Those kinds of situations make me exhausted physically, spiritually, mentally, emotionally . . . But still, the good that can be done is so great and so slow that sometimes it seems like we aren’t doing anything until a few months down the road when we see that we really did a lot. Also, I hope you feel better soon.
So, anyway, our success seems to be going along the same road. Last night we had the first meeting with one of our investigators in a month. This is the mother and daughter that live in the подездъ (podezd) of a very anti family. It was great, very exciting. That means that there is still hope with her. We want her to build some friendships with the members, so we brought the Relief Society President along. (See picture above - Ольга (not the Relief Society President), me, Настя (Nastya), Sister Silva, another Ольга, and in front - Вова (Vova) and Наташа (Natasha)) She invited them to Enrichment night this week. I really hope they come. That would be another big step for them.
Also, on Sunday, we met with another family that we haven’t been able to meet with in a long time. The Elders were working with them but after not being able to meet with them for over three weeks, they told us that we could have them again (they gave them to us when I first got here and then decided that they would try again). It was so good to see her. She stopped reading the Book of Mormon, but after talking to us, she promised to start reading again. She also promised to come to church on Sunday. Ура (urah)!
We also went to see a less active member that we have never met. She was really receptive and wants us to come back. She promised to come to church next week. I really hope she does. We have a lot of work, almost enough to have two sets of sisters in our little branch. I really love this branch, but there are some big problems. Our power-family (they have a lot of money and their son is the branch president) are really good, strong members. They just have this strange idea that some people aren’t worth working with. In fact, they want to get a council going to interview and excommunicate less/inactive members who are breaking a commandment (like maybe the word of wisdom or who don’t come to church). I don’t know the rules and procedures about that, but it doesn’t feel right to me. The solution is NOT to excommunicate people but to stop judging them and love them back into the fold. Does anyone know if there has been somekind of conference talk about loving people back into the fold? That might be helpful to share with them.
As for everything else, time is counting down. It seems like every day brings us too much closer to the time when my companion leaves. I can’t believe that we have two and a half weeks, almost three, before I go with her to Самара (Samara) to say good-bye and get a new companion. I don’t even know yet who that will be. We are getting some things done that will make my stay here a lot easier, like buying books (I already have 3 plus one that I got as a gift!) and things like that. That means I won’t have to even think about it during my last two cycles. I can hardly believe that I will have been in Russia for a year in just 10 days! That will also leave me exactly 3 months before I come home. By the way, did you talk to Becky yet? I still haven’t found out for sure, but I’ll let you know my exact release date when I find out.
I hope I will be able to get this email sent off because it looks like the internet is having some big problems. We’ll see what happens. I guess I’ll give it a try.

Love,
Сестра Атвуд

thanks!

Dear family,
Well, I don’t know exactly what to say this week. I can’t believe how fast time is going right now but at the same time how slowly. My companion goes home in a month, exactly a month. She is great because that isn’t keeping her from working like it has with many, but it is insane to think about it because when we started serving together she had as much time as I will have when she goes home. So, if this is how quickly the last month and a half has gone, I don’t want to know how fast it will go when she goes home, especially if what I think is going to happen actually happens. But, who knows.
First things first, thanks to everyone who wrote me this week. But Sara, I thought you had learned better. That was a pitiful email. It probably only took two seconds to write that phrase and send it off. Really, if that’s all the time you are willing to give me, its probably not worth the bother.
(Picture to the left - the first day of school. I thought it might be interesting for you to see this)
Mom, thanks for ordering the Liahona, just let me know when the first issue gets there so I know where it starts. Also, thanks for ordering those stickers. I really appreciate it. I hope it wasn’t too expensive. It seems to me, mom, that I learn more from you about Sara than I do from Sara . . . I hope you are still having them write me letters when they don’t send an email because I need more information than that. By the way, how many missionaries do we have from the ward now? It seems to me that everyone has either gone on a mission or gotten married while I’ve been on my mission. There won’t be anyone left when I get home! (That’s not a bad thing, it will just be weird).
Dad, that’s great that you got your software running and that you have names ready for the temple. That must be really exciting. As a reminder, please don’t forget about my website. I know it takes time, but its really important to me that people can read my emails if they feel so inclined. Also, I’m glad to hear that Clarence Armstrong is feeling better.
Elizabeth, I got your letter this week. I have to admit it was pretty funny. I showed it to my companion and she laughed, too. Thanks for finding something funny that happened to share. That’s what it takes sometimes to write a good letter.
Ok, as for whether or not it is official that I am coming home the 21st, I don’t know. I heard that President told one of the Elders in my going-home-group that he will have it changed to the 21st, but I didn’t hear that from President himself. So, I don’t know what to tell you about that. (Picture to the right - me and Скоморохова Татьяна (Skomoroxova Tatiana), one of the members that we worked with a lot. She is very old and has cancer, but is a very determined and interesting woman) I would like Becky to be home for Christmas if she can, that would be really cool because I am almost positive that it will work out that I am going to be home before Christmas, but at the same time, I would want Becky to be there for my home-coming talk and I don’t know if that would even be that first Sunday when I get home or some later one. I will probably be able to find out soon, though. At least by the 21st of September (I hope that would be enough time to buy tickets if you need to) because the APs are both in my group and they have close contact with the president. Other than that, I will try to find out before then but it would probably be good if you could find out from Becky how long she will be able to take off. If she could be home for two Sundays, (Christmas Eve and New Years Eve) that would probably be the best bet. That way she could be there for Christmas AND for my homecoming talk if they don’t happen to coincide. If she won’t be able to do that, maybe it would be better to wait until I find out for sure and then I will let you know. If it will be the 21st you will probably need to talk to the Bishop so I could talk that following Sunday so Becky could be home for both.
But, anyway, that’s a lot to worry about. I hate to say it, but I’m glad I don’t have to worry about that.
Ok, now for this past week. There have been a few great things and a few funny ones. I’ll get to the funny ones first. I didn’t mention this before, we have an investigator who has a 6 year old daughter and a 4 or 5 year old son. This son is named Саша (Sasha) (from Alexander). (See picture to the left - the father {I don't remember his name}, Sister Silva, Лена (Lena), Аня (Anya), and in front Саша, and Катя (Katya)) I don’t know if this is still that way, but when I first saw him, he confused me with someone else . . . with a someone else whom he just happens to be a little obsessed with (as in the sister who used to serve here with my current companion). So, the first thing he does is gives me a huge hug. That’s not so bad except he didn’t want to let go. That time, there didn’t really end up being anything else except him asking if I cut my hair and then saying that he didn’t even recognize me. Then the next time . . . that was a little creepy. I guess he used to do this to that other sister, too, and it made her uncomfortable too, but again he hugged me and didn’t want to let go. I was sitting on the couch (often times their “couches” are also beds) and he tried pushing me over. I didn’t really know what was going on so I didn’t resist and he ended up lying on top of me, and just kept laying there. (now, you gotta remember that he is around 5 years old so its not soo bad except that it LOOKS really bad). When I realized what had happened and that he was planning on staying there, I pushed him off and sat up. Then, after awhile, he tried it again! This time I resisted, but he kept on pushing. He left and soon came back to try again! This time I was a little annoyed that he kept trying and wouldn’t give up, so I pushed him to the side, but doing that I ended up giving way. This time I found myself lying down (at least he wasn’t on top of me) and he put his head on my shoulder and just laid there. It was the strangest experience of my life. I really think that kid is just a little too obsessed with this other sister. Poor girl. Poor kid, too. I think there has to be some kind of lack, and maybe it is a lack of connection with his mother or something, I don’t really know, but it is a little scary.
Another funny thing, we were talking to this boy on the street, inviting him to English. We noticed that he was abnormally silent and my companion thought that maybe he was a mute. When we finished inviting him, he opened his mouth and immediately a bunch of spit came out. He had tried to say thank you, then he spit to the side, and continued on. It was really funny. That is probably the one and only time that will happen in my life. It turned out that he had just been to the dentist. Poor kid, I hope he wasn’t too embarrassed to come to English class.
So, as for the good things, I don’t have a lot of time left to write so I’ll be brief. We fasted together as a district to help the work along and we are already starting to see some blessings from that. For example, we met with one lady last night who is very active, intelligent and sincere. She wants to come to church and really enjoyed the movie, The Lamb of God. She has read all the literature she’s been given and even had questions. We gave her a Book of Mormon and she promised to read and pray. She is sincere and that means that she will get an answer. I’m really excited about that. We have a few other people who want us to come and talk with them to make up for the others that have pretty much dropped us. So, it all works out in the end. We are still praying for everyone of course, but we have gotten to the point where we know that we have done all that we can to help them. Now, it is up to them to make the decision to accept it, or at least to let us come and meet with them again.
(Picture to the right - Энгельс (Engels) Relief Society)
Well, I guess that is about it. My time is up. I love you all, keep writing. Don’t let the time countdown, and I hope it ISN’T going to lull you into thinking that you don’t have to write. In this, just like in life, you have to endure to the end for all your hard work to matter. That is, keep on writing and there will be a gift at the end of the journey. Ok, it won’t be so great as eternal life, but I think Russian тапочки (tapochki) is good enough. By the way, no one answered me about that whether or not you would wear them if I bought them. Basically they would take the place of shoes in the house. You could go barefoot if you wanted, but if you didn’t want to, then the тапочки help to keep the floor cleaner longer. Let me know about that because I will probably want to buy them soon.

Love,
Сестра Атвуд

yep

Dear family,

Just to keep you from worrying, I should probably mention that everything went great with our registration. We had to sit there for a long time, but it turned out that the lady accepted it. That means that we won't have any more trouble with that because if they did it one time, they will keep on doing it. That's a relief because they only registered me until the end of October. That's a little weird because I should be staying here until I go home. Of course, maybe not, but it is very likely that I will because I only have two cycles after my companion goes home, and that means I have to show someone the area and it would be weird to transfer me 6 weeks before I go home.

Anyway, I guess I'll find out all about that. It's a little annoying because now they do our registration right in our passport. I have a question that maybe no one knows, but I would be really interested in finding out. What happens when there is no more space in your passport but you still have several years? Maybe I won't even have that problem, but visas take up a lot of space, and the registration takes up a page everytime, too. That means that by the time I leave Russia, they will at least have used up nearly half of the space given . . . and I'm planning on doing some traveling in the next 10 years besides this.

That's not really important, though. I have a couple of other requests/questions, though. First, I'm thinking of buying some Russian тапочки (tapochki) for everyone. Those are shoes that are to be worn indoors. They use them here so that people don't tract dirt everywhere from outside. The question is (and I need an answer for everyone at home about this) would you wear them if I brought them home? (That's including you, too, dad). They're kind of like sandals or slippers, but I'm hoping to find some very Russian ones and that would be cool for everyone to have.

Also, could you look into ordering the Liaxona in Russian for me? I wouldn't mind you starting as soon as you can so that I won't have to bring some home with me. If you can order it, just let me know when you get the first issue and which month it is starting from. Last, but not least, I want to get some Russian letter stickers for my keyboard and everyone here tells me that you can get them in America. Could someone look into that for me, too so I don't have to worry about finding them here?

This last week has been insane . . . as in I am insanely tired. My companion and I both are, it doesn't seem to make any sense. We can't figure it out except that a lot more of our appointments fell through and that means that we have been doing a LOT more walking. I basically spend every second of every day tired. We can't ever feel rested. I wake up in the morning and feel like I just laid down. I think that there are a lot of things contributing to it, maybe even the weather, but it is still really annoying.

We had a discouraging meeting with one of our investigators. She is really great and it seems to me that she has a pure heart and really wants to find the truth. The Elders gave her a Book of Mormon and the first night she read until 3:00 in the morning. But, she got a bad feeling about it. Maybe I already told you about her; just in case I didn't, I will continue on. She even heard a voice say, "лучше не надо" (kind of like, better not to). We thought that was a little weird and really couldn't explain it. That was the first time ANY of us had heard of something like that. We didn't know how to answer, but we kept coming back trying to help her understand and feel the spirit. I honestly think she did . . . while we were there. We just couldn't figure out why she didn't feel it when she was reading the Book of Mormon. This last time, we took a member with us. I think it was the right choice to make because it turned out that the member already knew this lady. Марина (Marina), the investigator, is a teacher at a private school (literally pay-school in Russian so there are probably differences with our private schools) and the daughter of the member who went with us was one of her students. So that was cool, and an interesting "coincidence" (I don't really think it was accident that I immediately thought of taking her after our first meeting with Марина). I'm really glad we took her because she understands how things work here and even though Марина didn't say anything to us to give us a clue why she would continue to have a bad feeling about everything, because Ольга (Olga), the member, knew her and understands the situation, and she was able to explain afterwards. But, basically Марина told us that she wasn't going to come and that she didn't want us to waste our time when she wasn't going to change her mind. This whole time she couldn't explain why she felt the way she did, but she never said that the Book isn't true, she just said it wasn't for her. She also said that she wanted us to not waste our time on her when we could be out helping other people who would accept it.

So, anyway, that was discouraging that she doesn't want to meet with us anymore. She didn't even want us to share our spiritual thought. But, Ольга explained the situation that is most likely affecting her feelings and thoughts, whether Марина recognizes it or not. I guess the administration of these schools is very strict. There was a member a long time ago who lost his job because some people decided that "Mormons" shouldn't be allowed to teach children. So, the member got a second job. This second job he also almost lost because of his membership until he basically rejected the church to keep his job. So, even if she were to accept the church and get baptized, there is always the possibility that she would have to choose between her job and the church. I would like to say that she would choose God and the church, but that rarely happens here. That's why we have "active" members who don't come half of the time because they work two Sundays in a month, they don't understand that they should make a priority that puts God first. I understand why they think that way, but it's a little discouraging because it will be slow growth here until the members begin to understand.

So, continuing on, she might have to make that choice later on, but I think that deep down, she understands what it would mean to accept the gospel, she could lose her job and she isn't ready yet to give it up. She is searching for the truth, she's read a lot of other books on religion, looked into other doctrine, but she never felt anything with them. Then she picked up the Book of Mormon and couldn't put it down. But the more she read, the worse she began to feel. The only explanation that I have is that as she read, she began to feel that it was true, but whether consciously or not, she also began to realize what it would mean if this church is true and she isn't yet ready to make that step. That is really sad and I hope that she will change her mind. I hope that she will be given another chance to accept the gospel and I hope that she won't have to pay for her job by losing salvation.

Well, that's all I have to say. Please answer/respond to my requests as soon as possible.

Love,

Сестра Атвуд

(The picture in this email were taken at the local children's hospital. Elder and Sister Frampton, the humanitarian aid missionaries in my mission, completed a couple of projects at this hospital. This was after the second project was completed. They invited us for a tour to see what they did, and afterwards, they fed us. The interesting thing is, right there at the table, they asked for more help. I don't think that is something that would happen in America. They would probably wait until afterwards. This was one of the nicer hospitals that I saw in Russia. The first picture is in front of the hospital - Космынин Евгений, District President, doctor at the hospital, Космынина Татьяна, me, Sister Silva, Elder Cummings, and in front, Elder Ray. The Framptons weren't able to come because of some mix up with train tickets. The second picture was taken at the lunch table. They had quite a lunch spread to show their gratitude. - An interesting note, we often did volunteer work at this hospital, cleaning up the grounds and things like that, but we didn't know that the Church was helping out in another way until this luncheon.)