Another email

So, I'm still waiting for my other email with pictures to send, so I thought I would use the time to write to you. I don't know why it is taking so long, but I am hoping it will get sent. So, yeah, this week. (Left - President fixing lunch for our picnic) We had that picnic like I said. That was really good. After that we really had no time except to change clothes, rest a bit, and then go to the church to watch a movie. We watched The Testament. We ended up being really late because the traffic was bad, so then I didn't feel like disturbing the movie. I went into the adjoining room to see why a light was on in there, and I found a just started puzzle. I sat down and worked away. I could hear the movie, I just couldn't see it. When I noticed that they finished, I went in for the testimony meeting.

The next day was conference. It was a really good conference. (Right - Eating our lunch. It was really good, by the way) I enjoyed it a lot. We also had some time to rest, and during that time, I, along with a few other Elders, finished that puzzle. Unfortunately, two pieces were missing. Oh well, what can you do.

Right after conference, they told us that our ride was leaving, so we had to hurry out.

The ride back to Penza was awful. I really hate traveling that long in a gazelle. By the time we got back, I was sick to my stomach. We also didn't get back until 10:30. That sucked, but what can you do? Other than that, it was a good week. We had two investigators at church on Sunday. One is our new investigator, Оксана (Oksana), who also wants us to meet her mother.(Left - all the missionaries after our picnic. It actually started raining, so we finished just in time) The other is an old investigator who hasn't met with the missionaries for over a year, but now she wants to meet with us. We had a good meeting with her on Monday. For the most part, things are going well. Things are still hard (often I find myself frustrated with my companion) but I am still trying to make this time the best ever.

I don't know if my email with pictures is going to send. I'll be really mad if it doesn't. We'll see. I don't know how long I can wait.

So, thanks dad for getting my emails up. I hope Heather will look and see that they are up. (Right - All the missionaries after our Zone Conference. I stick out very nicely in my green suit) That's great news Sara. I hope it works out. Lizzy, that's nice about Sebastian. I'm sure you enjoyed that. Mom, it is so crazy to me that everyone is getting married while I'm away. Interesting, though. I'm glad your lesson went well. I'm sure this next one will be even better.

Love,

Сестра Атвуд

web posting

Hey! I am feeling really good right now, but I think that is because I received a few nice surprises in my inbox. First, was pictures of the new babies in the family from Aunt Patti. (Left - here I and Sister Блохина (Bloxina) are sanding the window frame before painting it) Thanks for that. It was nice to see them. Second was seeing so many different letters from people. Thanks to Heather, Lizzy, Sara, Mom, Dad, and grandpa. I appreciate all that. So, I will take a little time to respond here.

Heather, that's too bad that your work is boring. I understand, I did similar work at BYU. I was so glad to leave that job for my Любимый (lyubimwi - favorite) work in the computer labs. Sara, you may not think your letters sound like that, but I literally looked at the letter you had written and sent a response. So yeah, it's true. I'm glad the dress fits. I am just a little jealous that you get to go on a pioneer trek, but it is a really good experience. I wish I could go, but then again, I am kind of on a pioneer trek of my own. Elizabeth, that's good about finding those books. Alibris is one that I have found a lot of books on, too, so that's cool. That's also great about Sebastian. That will be nice to see when I get home. Grandpa, thanks for the information on the family. It is always nice to be kept in the loop.

Dad, I'm glad that they didn't find a lot of bugs. I remember when we did programs in school. Fixing bugs was always my least favorite part, especially when I thought everything was perfect. Too bad that they want a lot of different things, though. It sounds like you will be having a really exhausting trip, traveling to Utah and then to that meeting and then to Canada, yikes! I don't do a lot of traveling here which I kind of miss (except I have to admit I'm a little sick of flying - 10 hours over the ocean is a really long time. (Right - Sister Блохина, me, Elder Бордун (Bordun) are painting one of the window frames where we replaced the window pane. Ok, I'm painting the frame, Sister Блохина is painting her mouth and Elder Бордун is painting, well, me) Ten hours in a car isn't so bad because at least you can get out and look around or stretch, and even ten hours in a train isn't so bad because it is more comfortable to sleep in it). This week we are going to Саратов (Saratov) for conference. It is a half-mission conference, so we will be going for two days. On Thursday we leave Пенза (Penza) early in the morning around 7:00 and we will be having a picnic that day. Then we are going to be watching a movie, I don't know which one. The next day will be our conference. We leave immediately afterwards to come back to Пенза. I am hoping that we will make it in time for Enrichment meeting because they are going to be sharing recipes. I really want some good Russian recipes. Plus, I have to explain to them how to make some alter cloths for the new temple in Finland.

Mom, thanks for the long letter. I really like being able to read so much about what is going on at home. I can't tell you how relieved I am to know that my package arrived. I was getting a little worried about that. Did you get your present then? Don't let dad open his until his birthday. It should be pretty clear if you can find it. Also in that box should be some cds with pictures on them. (Left - the almost finished product. We were waiting for the paint to dry before replacing the middle windows) The ones labeled with the year (2006) and a number are my pictures. Those will be the ones interesting to look at. You can look at the others if you want, but they don't have a lot of pictures of me, except the one that says something about Day (maybe spelled in Russian, I don't remember) those are pictures that Elder Day took while in Тольятти (Togliatti) with me. Maybe it would even be nice to do as a FHE activity, you could look at my pictures and watch the videos that I sent home.

So, that was a mouth full. I hope that all makes sense. I really hope you enjoy seeing the pictures and movies that I sent home. There is one on a dvd that is one of my favorites. It is pretty much us laughing. I can't tell you how often we watched that movie when we were having bad or hard days. It helped to cheer us up and I'm sad that I can't watch it anymore, but I'm glad that you will be able to see it.

I wanted to send some pictures through the internet here, but it looks like I can't from this computer so that really sucks. Maybe I will be able to try another computer before we leave, we shall see.

Thanks for sending me a package. I'm already looking forward to getting it. Yeah! I love mail and packages. It is nice to know that Becky is graduating. Crazy! I haven't heard anything from her, she hadn't even started learning when I left and now she is already graduating! I feel so out of the loop. Oh well, that's life I guess.

Other than that, this week started off a little shaky. Last Wednesday, hardly anyone came to our activity. (Right - After our long day of service, we were fed. It was pretty good, too. Here is Elder Мельничук (Melnychuk), Бордун, me, Elder Christianson, and Sister Блохина) It was very sad because the Branch President's wife put a lot into it. We did meet with a new girl, but she doesn't want to take the discussions. The next several days were normal days. Then Monday came around. Boy was that a difficult day. I'm not even sure why except at the end of the day I found myself in a bad mood. There is one investigator here who's wife is very anti-mormon. Or rather, she just doesn't want him to get baptized. She wants a divorce but he refuses to give her one, so she asked him to kill her because she can't live like she has been anymore. So, we came up with a plan, we would help with doing ремонт (remont) (is that a word in English, I can't remember anymore) or fixing up the place. Our plan began yesterday. He sent his wife to a village for the day and we arrived at 7:00 in the morning (with the Elders of course) to paint the windows and put in new glass. We also put in a new door. It was a long day and very exhausting, but it felt good to be able to help. But, as a result, we weren't able to go contacting. I think that is what put me in a bad mood. Being in a bad mood didn't help yesterday to go any better. Pretty much nothing worked out. It was very frustrating. I hate days like that. Today is already a better day, though there is still a little tension. I feel so exhausted all the time, but the biggest thing I am tired of is the responsibility that has been shoved on my shoulders. You see, even though my companion has been on her mission for longer than I have, she doesn't lead at all. That means if I want us to study together, I have to lead it. If I want to pray together, I have to lead it. (Left - still eating. Elder Wellman, Бордун, me, Elder Christianson, and Sister Блохина) If I want something written in the Area Book, I have to write it myself. It is very frustrating because even though I can lead, I don't like leading when I don't have the right to lead, which is the position I am in now (we are co-companion, so we should be sharing the responsibility). So, that gets a little frustrating, but I am learning to live with it and praying that the Lord will give me the strength to help us do everything in our power to do His will.

Anyway, I am hoping that conference will be inspiring and give me a new burst of energy to get through the next six weeks. I'm hoping and praying.

I guess that's about it for now. Maybe next week I will be able to get some pictures sent off if I am not able to today.

Love

Сестра Атвуд

P.S. Another reminder, dad, PLEASE get my letters up on the website. I feel really bad because I get emails from Heather, but I have no way to respond to her except through these emails and if they don't get posted, she doesn't get to read my response. Please do that ASAP. Thanks.

Internet post

This last week has been pretty awful. We are trying so hard to achieve our goals, but it seems everywhere we turn is a brick wall. Honestly, I don't know what to think. Either the Lord is testing us to see if we will keep believing even when all the odds point against accomplishing our goals, or He, for some reason, doesn't want us to achieve them. It is hard to know which one. Right now, we have only one investigator in Пенза (Penza), but she didn't come to church like she promised. (Right - one day when we were going to visit someone, we saw this cat. I called out to it and it started walking toward me. As soon as its tail was up, I noticed something a little weird. I had to get a picture of this tail that looked like a squirrel's tail, I don't know if you can see it in the picture) She basically doesn't want to do anything, she just likes it when we come because she gets bored at home alone and then her parents don't yell at her for not going to church. I think it is hard for her because her family wants her to go to church, but they don't want to do anything themselves. We have only seen them once and after that, never. I don't think she will accept the gospel until it becomes important to her family. Then again, she is only 14 years old. Other than that, all we can really do is try meeting with the members that the Elders gave us to work with. Unfortunately, they gave us everyone that they either can't or don't want to work with. Can't because they can never find them home, or don't want to because they are unpleasant to work with. That leaves us with very little work to do and leaves me wondering why we came to Пенза. Then, Ирина (Irina) tells me that she prayed so long and harder than anyone else so sisters would come to Пенза and I understand. She has a strong testimony of prayer and she really needs a listening ear because her parents treat her awful. She is really great, but somehow they can't see that. Maybe all they see is the church that they don't consider to be anything more than a sect. Who really knows. I can't help wishing that she will be able to get a Visa to America soon, but at the same time I will be sad to see her go when she does so much to help this struggling branch. This branch is struggling because many strong members leave for other places, some for Moscow, others for America, and some for the spirit world. It seems like half of the members are dieing, some because they are just plain old, and many others from terminal illnesses. It is so hard to watch and makes me wonder what is the cause. Maybe this is just the trial the branch needs to come out stronger, I really don't know.
Other than that, last week was really hard because while we were at Youth Night, someone stepped on my purse and broke my camera. Yeah, I almost died. All that money went to waste because the screen doesn't work. It is possible that it still takes pictures, but there is no way for me to know. (Left - one of the posters that we made for our activity. This is about Family Home Evening) We went to see about getting it fixed, but they can only replace the screen in Moscow. So . . . you can imagine how I feel about that. Especially because I don't have my old camera anymore and that means that no matter what, I have to buy a new one. I got too used to being able to take pictures and films whenever I want and I don't want to not be able to capture these memories. In the end, that will be all that is left. Last week I bought two new skirts, a new shirt, and a new suit jacket.
So, I got your letter, Lizzy and Sara. I sent off a reply and also those insurance papers. I hope you get them soon. Thanks for your emails this week, Lizzy, Sara, Mom, and Dad. Dad, I'd like to remind you to get my emails put up as soon as possible. I realize that it takes a little bit of time, but since I can't write to anyone but you, if you don't get my emails posted, no one will write me. I haven't heard from Heather or Erin or anyone else in a really long time. Please get that taken care of ASAP. It should only take a few minutes to copy and paste. Don't worry about how it looks if you don't have time, just get the words put up. PLEASE!
Today we are having what we are hoping will be a good activity. A year or so ago, an Elder worked ten months in the office to make a film called "Время СемиЭ (Vremya Semi - Family Time) and now we will be showing it here in Пенза. I'm excited because people I know in Тольятти (Togliatti) are in the movie. We have been inviting people for the last few days and I hope there will be a big turn out. I would have rather had two weeks to invite people, but we are using the time that they gave us. All I can hope is that people who are ready to accept the gospel will be the ones to come. It will probably be too late, but pray anyway that it turned out well. This is pretty much our last hope to have a good jump in work here.
Other than that, I don't really know what to say. Keep writing me, I enjoy hearing from everyone, even if I don't answer your emails personally. Also, Mom, yeah, I'd like Dumbo. That would be great! All Disney movies except for most of the #2 and #3, etc. movies. That's great, Lizzy, about Numbers. Sorry about the cavity, but that's very lucky you have only one. Sara, that's too bad about Girls Camp. If the clothing is a problem, you could always wear the dress I made. It may be too big for you, but with the apron it should be all right, just don't ruin it. That means, be careful when you wear it. If it is too long, have mom hem it up so it won't drag on the ground, and be careful when you eat so you won't spill anything on it.
(Right - This is the other poster we made. It is about how we rest. If you look closely, there are some pictures with me in it on the poster) Let me know when Heidi's baby is born, when, what time, how much, the name, etc. I like to be kept informed about the family so things won't be too big of a surprise when I get home several months from now. Please also holler at Becky again. I honestly feel like she has died! I haven't heard a peep and I'm beginning to think that she has forgotten that she even has a sister in Russia. Or maybe she thinks I'm still in Provo . . . who really knows. Someone should let her know that I'm not there. Then maybe she will think to write me a letter, or even an email. She could even write me a letter on the internet through DearElder.com and it won't cost her a penny! I know that stamps have gone up a few cents and that may be difficult for her to handle, so she can always use that site to send me some kind of sign that she exists. Or maybe I'M the one that's crazy. You would tell me, right, if I just imagined having a sister named Rebecca?
Well, that's about it for now. I don't know what else to say. Let me know about the money. It would be great if you could have it in there before next week so I can get that camera. Also, let me know about the package I sent and the letter, when you get it. Don't forget!

Love,
your daughter, sister, friend, and missionary,
Сестра Атвуд

Hello,
I feel like I could sleep for a week without waking up. I really don't know what to do about that. Each day I feel a little more tired than the one before. I know that I am doing what I am supposed to be doing so I guess the Lord just wants to test me to see how long I will keep doing it without Him helping me not feel tired. Oh well, at least I feel better about myself since I started getting up at 6:00 every morning, even though I am always tired. That way I can get completely ready before time to study at 8:00 and I am 100% ready to leave the apartment when we are done. It's a good thing. (Right - at district meeting, for lunch, we made little pizzas for lunch. We made them on my favorite bread, лаваш (lavash). In the back - Elders Olsen, Boster, Ананд (Anand), and Бордун (Bordun). Front - Elders Мельничук (Melnychuk) and Christianson, Sister Блохина (Bloxina), and me)
So, first, thanks mom and dad. Sara, I have to say that one line about someone other than yourself does not cut it for your letter for the week. I hope that means you will be writing a paper one. For it to count, you have to AT LEAST tell me one thing about yourself that happened this past week, something that was different, something that was funny, or just plain something that you enjoyed. Writing me isn't supposed to be a chore, but when you write so little, that's the vibe I get from you and if you are going to write, you might as well make it worth my time reading it. Mom, that's ok about not telling me. There's probably a lot going on that it is hard to remember. Maybe you even told me and I just forgot. I can't remember anything here. I have trouble remembering what I ate for breakfast! Dad, that's probably true about your program. It seems to me that people can't except that something is great from the start. If it is, then they aren't satisfied anyway and want to make it better. Oh well, I guess that's life.
So, I am staying in Пенза (Penza) another 6 weeks. Even though I really like it here, I was kind of hoping to leave. I have a dreadful feeling that the next 6 weeks are going to be the hardest 6 weeks yet. It's hard to explain but I am just tired of being around people who are so negative all the time. (Left - Me in Пенза, I thought this little street was really pretty) I try to keep a positive outlook on things, but when my companion is negative, it is twice as hard because I have to be positive for her as well as for myself. Ahhh!!! I hope I can make it through without going insane. But, I don't just want to терпеть (terpet) this 6 weeks (thats probably like endure) I want to make them the best 6 weeks so far. So, if you could add a little something to your prayers, I would appreciate it. Please pray for us to be able to achieve the goals that we have set. That would really help, especially if you all pray for that every night together and in your individual prayers. I would really appreciate it. It took me a little time to смириться (smiritsya - like humble myself) to the fact that I will be staying here. I was hoping that after 6 months (or rather more like 11 months - have I really been on my mission THAT long?) the Lord would give me a break. But I guess that is not His plan and I will have to figure out what He wants me to learn so that I can move on. Don't get me wrong, I still love my companion, I just am tired of having to pull her out of depression. I am thinking that maybe we need to learn how to be completely positive together. Then maybe things will go better. Also, it looks like I am in Пенза for another reason. We have a meeting with one of our investigators tonight (who doesn't want to do anything but likes to meet with us so she sets up the appointments herself when we are there) and we asked one of the members to go with us. She agreed but last night she called to tell us that she couldn't (luckily she found someone else who could go with us). When I was talking with her, she told me that I am her saving angel, that if I wasn't here there would be no one else to support. It is interesting because she told me earlier that she prayed for a long time for sisters to be sent to Пенза. It's nice to know that I am the answer to her prayers.
Let's see, what else. (Right - we later made our own pizzas for lunch. The roses in the background were from a culture night) This week hasn't started off very well, at least in terms of being able to achieve our goals. One of our investigators is in Ростов (Rostov) for the next three weeks, another is leaving Saturday and will be out of town for three weeks and she can't meet with us before that because her daughter is in town. Other than that, we have one investigator with whom we can meet. And, she doesn't like to sit still while we talk. We may end up not working with her anymore. We will see how our meeting goes with her tonight. But the thing is, we can't meet with her 5 times this week to be able to achieve the goal of lessons with investigators with a member present. The funny thing is, I still believe that the Lord will help us achieve our goals. I think that maybe right now He just wants to show us that when we achieve them, it will not be anything WE did, but it will be His doing. I'm ok with that. I am just doing everything that I can do. We have even started contacting on Wednesdays. Maybe some people wouldn't want to do that on P-Day, but I rather like it. It always seems to turn out well. For example, the first three people with whom we talked today not only listened, but took the information and said they would read it, though they still didn't want to give us their information. We will see what happens with that.
Ok, well that's probably about it for now. I don't know what else to say.

Love,
Сестра Атвуд

Long, good day

This was a very long, eventful, but good day. It began like usual, with study, but after all that, we went to a branch service project. There is an area of woods that is basically inside of the city. That means that a lot of people walk through there, and also means that there is a lot of litter. So, the branch decided to help. We met at a bus stop, and then headed over to this area of the woods. (See above left. Above right - picking up trash)
We worked for several hours, picking up trash. We filled many trash bags (about 8) before we ran out. (See left - all the helping hands. I name all these people with a similar picture that I posted later) We didn't even get all the trash that was there. As we were working, several people walked by. One old woman told us that we were wasting our time because people would just throw more there. But, if we worked by that principle everywhere, nothing would ever be cleaned because it would just get dirty again. And, maybe there are some people who will think twice before throwing their trash down if they notice that someone has picked up.
After that, we had a picnic. The entire time we were working, the weather was looking grim (as in that it looked like rain was coming). We got food to have our picnic, and went out into a clearing in the woods. (See right - we were just beginning our picnic. From left to right - Баба Катя (Baba Katya), Вадим (Vadim), Илья (Ilya), Elder Бордун (Bordun), Мокарова Лена (Makarava Lena) As we began cutting the bread and meat, drops started to fall from the sky. We blessed the meal, and prayed that the rain would at least stop before the activity planned for that night. We were fine eating our meal under the umbrellas that we brought. It made for an interesting picnic, something I have never done before. It didn't start off very heavy, but by the time we were done, it was pouring.
Still, it was fun. We almost got drenched while walking to the bus stop to go home and change. (Left - at our picnic after it started raining even more. Баба Катя, Elder Olsen, Sister Блохина (Bloxina), Elder Ананд (Anand), me in front, Вадим, Elder Boster, Илья, then crouched around the table starting from the left - Elder Мельничук, Лена, Elder Бордун) Since this was a Saturday, we had a meeting. We went home to change because we were soaked and didn't want to get sick. We were late for the meeting, but that wasn't too big of a deal.
After that, we had a little time before we went to the activity planned that evening, a baptism. The baptism was supposed to be in the river, so we were hoping the rain would stop in time for that.
We met at the train station so that everyone could get to the location where the baptism would be. (Right - Singing hymns at the baptism. I'm not going to name all the members here because some of them are hard to see. The river where the baptism took place is visible in the background, and as you can see, no rain!) As we waited for everyone to show, the rain began to trickle off. That was a good sign. Finally, we all got on a gazelle and drove to the place where the man who was getting baptized lives. He wanted everyone to stop by his apartment and walk with him down to the river, so we did. It was a nice service. We sang hymns on the beach before the baptism was performed. That took the rest of our night and it was a great way to end the day.
(Left - everyone who came to the baptism. Вадим is in the center. He is the one who was baptized. Seeing a baptism is always the best thing that can happen on a mission. You see how happy each individual is as they come out of the water, how clean. It is an incredible feeling, and even more incredible when you realize that you helped that person to get there. Of course, you didn't do it. That person did. They made the right choices to get them there. But through you, the Lord brought them to that place, to that decision. It is amazing. The nice thing is, you don't even have to go on a mission to feel that way. Anytime someone you love decides to accept the gospel, you feel the same way. Joy and at the same time fear. Joy that they made such an important decision to accept the gospel of Jesus Christ, and fear that somewhere along the way, they may fall away. That has nothing to do with trusting them to keep on the strait and narrow path, but more to do with the realization that it can happen to anyone. But, you don't want that for them because you love them. You want to see them in the presence of God after this life ends, and you know there is only one way to get there. But even with that fear, the joy is worth it. I hope everyone gets the chance to feel that way)