I wonder if there is anyone out there who can really answer this question, if any men out there even know the answer. I've been wondering for a while now, what is it about men (in general of course, I'm not saying that all men are like this) that makes them have to be better than someone else to feel good about themselves? I came to the conclusion as a child that this characteristic is fundamental to what I call the Bully-Syndrome. A bully can only feel good about his/herself by putting someone else down, and in that way attempting to show that he/she is indeed better than someone else. You could say that the problem with men is that they are bullies.
I'm not trying to be a man-hater, or even to put down men, but it seems to me that a lot of the oppression against women in this word comes down to this fundamental characteristic. For example: women working (especially as it relates to a spouse). Everything is ok as long as the wife makes less, or has a less prestigious job. But as soon as she makes more, or if she has a job more prestigious, they cannot handle it.
A male friend once told me that men like to feel smart, and when a woman (in this case me) is more intelligent, they can't handle it. So they look for someone less intelligent. They want a little woman who will stay at home and be happy to treat them with the respect and care that they "deserve." It's one of the main reasons that (I believe) so many men look to mail-order brides of sorts. There they can find gorgeous women who just want a green card, and are from cultures where it is the woman's "job" to care for the man.
For me, all this seems to boil down to man's insecurity. They lack the necessary confidence to understand that their worth does not depend on their being better than someone else, especially not their wife. How does it threaten men if women can drive (women cannot drive in Saudi Arabia, I recently learned)? An article I read seemed to suggest that the law was based on man's fear that their wives or daughters would go out on secret trysts. But if that is the case, they are basing the law on a complete misunderstanding of the nature of women. Men are much more likely to cheat on their wives then women are to cheat on their husbands. Almost three out of four men say that if they knew they wouldn't get caught, they would have an affair. Does that mean we should make it illegal for men to drive? :)
So, the question is: What makes men feel the need to be superior to another in order to be happy? Why are they so insecure? Anyone have the answer? Anyone?
P.S. I should also make note that a lot of women are insecure, it just manifests itself in a different way, in a way I would say is less oppressive of other people.
I'm not trying to be a man-hater, or even to put down men, but it seems to me that a lot of the oppression against women in this word comes down to this fundamental characteristic. For example: women working (especially as it relates to a spouse). Everything is ok as long as the wife makes less, or has a less prestigious job. But as soon as she makes more, or if she has a job more prestigious, they cannot handle it.
A male friend once told me that men like to feel smart, and when a woman (in this case me) is more intelligent, they can't handle it. So they look for someone less intelligent. They want a little woman who will stay at home and be happy to treat them with the respect and care that they "deserve." It's one of the main reasons that (I believe) so many men look to mail-order brides of sorts. There they can find gorgeous women who just want a green card, and are from cultures where it is the woman's "job" to care for the man.
For me, all this seems to boil down to man's insecurity. They lack the necessary confidence to understand that their worth does not depend on their being better than someone else, especially not their wife. How does it threaten men if women can drive (women cannot drive in Saudi Arabia, I recently learned)? An article I read seemed to suggest that the law was based on man's fear that their wives or daughters would go out on secret trysts. But if that is the case, they are basing the law on a complete misunderstanding of the nature of women. Men are much more likely to cheat on their wives then women are to cheat on their husbands. Almost three out of four men say that if they knew they wouldn't get caught, they would have an affair. Does that mean we should make it illegal for men to drive? :)
So, the question is: What makes men feel the need to be superior to another in order to be happy? Why are they so insecure? Anyone have the answer? Anyone?
P.S. I should also make note that a lot of women are insecure, it just manifests itself in a different way, in a way I would say is less oppressive of other people.
1 comment:
you make a very valid point! And I HATE when men feel they need to be the dominate factor! Especially if they crack jokes or make sexual referrances towards women. Disgusting. Women have thier fair share of being dramatic or bullies too, but it does seem men have more of a complex. I think God made them that way, realized the trait, and took it out of most women haha
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