Stress, stress and more stress!

So why am I feeling stressed, you ask? Is it the fact that I am still walking around on crutches due to my healing/broken foot? Is it because finals are next week and I have to write a paper (in Russian) on euthanasia? Is it because I am graduating in April and that brings tons of things to think about and consider? Is it because I am preparing to take the FSOT in November which will determine my future career choices? Is it because I still don't know what I'm going to do after I graduate even in the event that I get hired into the foreign service (since I would have to have a background check done before I could actually start working)? Is it because I still don't have a place to stay come the end of August?
Although all of those things definitely give me stress, that is not the thing that has made me the most stressed right now. For those of you who don't know, I have a cat (you don't have to like cats to sympathize with me about this) and I love my cat very much. However, it is very difficult to find places here, especially as a student, where pets are allowed. So, my youngest sister was kind enough to agree to live with relatives and take care of my cat. Now, here is where the stress comes in, my sister was given an ultimatum that if she doesn't find a "decent job" within the next two weeks, they will "find her a ticket home." My sister's purpose in coming to Utah was to gain residency so she could go to school. Going back to Bismarck would completely defeat that purpose. So, there are other options. Unfortunately, those other options exclude my cat. We have many relatives in Utah, and one of those invited Sara to come stay with them in Brigham City. But, there, my cat, Gizmo (if you know his name, perhaps you will sympathize more), cannot go.I don't know what to do. I don't want to have to give Gizmo (see picture above) away because I love that cat and he loves me, but that may be the only option that I have. I'm afraid, though, that no one would take him because he's been getting stressed out lately . . . and that leads him to scratch and bite. He's not a vicious animal, he just needs human interaction and when he doesn't get it, he gets upset. I think my giving him up entirely would really stress him out.
As for me, this stress is exactly what I DON'T need right before finals . . . or really any time. It is one more problem that I have to worry about and it is vaguely reminiscent of the time that these same relatives evicted my other sister . . . I guess I should have taken a clue from that, but they told me it would be different. I guess I was wrong to believe that. And if, by chance, the relatives that I am referring to actually read my blog, I don't even care if they know how I feel. I will also say this: I feel like everything they have told me, especially in the past year, has been a lie. They told me that they don't talk to my dad about every little thing, but when they had a problem with my younger sister (the first one who stayed there for LESS THAN A WEEK) instead of calling ME and talking to ME they called my dad to complain about the situation and told him that they were concerned that I had just abandoned my sister there. Then they say that they don't judge me and want me to talk to them, but everything they do and say tells me otherwise. Now, (I won't go into every detail) they told me that it would be different with my youngest sister. I told them before she moved in that her biggest concern was being independent, that she was moving out of the house to be able to be independent. They told me that that was not a problem. But, they don't allow her that independence, and that seems to be one of the biggest things that they have a problem with.
So, I will say this, as well, I don't know if they are TRYING to push me away, but it's working.
Back to the real issue, any ideas on what to do about Gizmo? I really don't have many options available to me, and I could use all the help that I can get. And pray for me, because this stress all added together will probably give me a heart attack one of these days.

Happy Birthday Heather!!

So, I didn't do this for Erin (sorry, I didn't think about it), but since my family blog is always posting everyone's birthdays, I thought I could do the same! So, happy birthday Heather! You finally caught up to me!!!The picture here was taken at the end of May when I stopped to visit Heather on my way to my sister's graduation.

Slightly off-color

So, several days have passed since that single moment that has affected me so greatly since then. I am finally starting to get used to crutches. They still make my muscles ache, but now I can go farther before I have to stop for a rest. Since that first day, several interesting things have happened.
I noticed, as I walked to work on Saturday morning, that people only stop to help when there is NOTHING that they can do. If there is actually something that they could do, they don't stop. I muttered about this bitterly as I watched car after car pass me by as I slowly made my way to campus. I would have thought that just one person could have understood my plight and been kind enough to stop, but no, I made the whole trip on crutches. It was quite the contrast from the day before when I was walking around campus and practically everyone who saw me asked if they could do anything to help, but then, of course, there was nothing that could be done.
Still, I managed to get around at work, for a training class, and then get home without too much trouble. Sunday, was pretty much the same. I made it to campus without too much trouble. This time, there was something that could be done when people asked if they could help. Mainly it involved carrying my crutches so I could hop up the stairs. I had to explain my stupidity over and over again at church. It was quite disconcerting. (Left - here you can see the bruising on the side of my foot. It looks worse in real life).
Finally, there was a stake relief society presidency member at church and she told me about the scooters that some people use. I told her that I don't know where to get one and she said that she knew a girl who had had one and that she would see if the girl still had it and call me. Well, that got my hopes up, but I haven't heard from her, so either she forgot about me, or the girl didn't have it. Oh well, at least I'm getting used to the crutches.
On my way home from church, I was almost to the bottom of the stairs south of campus when a bunch of people from my ward came up behind me. One guy said that he could carry me down the rest of the way if I wanted. I guess I hesitated too long because he just picked me up and carried me down the rest of the way. It was quite an interesting experience, to be swept off my feet (literally) by someone I don't even know. To be honest, it didn't make too much of a difference, but at least he was paying attention in sacrament meeting (we had had a talk on doing little acts of charity). It would have been better if he had carried me UP the three flights of stairs I have to go up every day to get to my apartment, but I still made it home.
Today I was looking at my foot wondering at how it wasn't very bruised. I couldn't understand it because when I broke my toe, it got almost black! But, I thought, maybe that is because the toe bone is closer to the surface. Then, a little later, I noticed a spot on the right side of my foot. I carefully leaned my foot towards me so I could see and realized that my foot is a lot more bruised than it appears at first glance. You can't even really see it from the top! I've also begun to notice that my foot is getting slowly more swollen. Sometimes it is so bad that I can't even bend my toes! They are too fat!

Things keep getting bigger and bigger

Well, a day has passed since the fateful moment when I heard the words, "I owe you an apology. You have an avulsion fracture in your foot." Since that moment, my life has changed. I can't walk, I can't carry anything unless I crawl on the floor or hop on one foot, and I am supposed to fit a lot of things into my schedule that I've never had to do before, like icing my foot, extra travel time to get anywhere, and things of that nature. You never really appreciate what it means to be able to get around until you really can't.
Lizzy came over early this morning to help me get to work. She carried my stuff and walked with me as I crawled (not literally this time) to work. It was killer! What was even worse is that working in the morning requires me to open all the other labs so I had a lot of extra walking to do. By the time I was done, it was hard for me to use the crutches because my hands/arms hurt so bad. But there was nothing else that could be done, so I continued on.
Elizabeth met me for lunch and then she helped me to my class. We made arrangements for her to come back after my class to help me get home. My class actually ended up getting out early. Luckily, Saundra, a friend from my mission who is in my class, was there and offered to help. She took my stuff and drove her car to meet me so that I didn't have to walk very far. Then, after seeing how slow it was for me to get up my stairs, she literally carried me up. I wish I had been able to get a picture. I'm sure it was quite the sight.
(Left - I think this picture shows very well how swollen my foot has become. It still hurts, but the Ibuprofen helps. Also, I can still move my toes, but sometimes I move my foot, as in my ankle, and that really hurts. My foot is still sore, but that could be from being immobilized for so long and from the swelling as well. I have only slight discoloration on my foot, though that isn't really visible at all in this picture). I had actually wanted to do something this evening, but had to cancel because I didn't want to try getting around. It is just too difficult, and too painful. But, at least I was able to remove my splint for a little while so I could shower. I also soaked my foot in cold water like I was instructed. I was told to do that every 4-6 hours (I couldn't prior to this because I was supposed to leave the splint on for 24 hours for it to form to my foot) but I really don't see how that is even possible. I'll do the best that I can.
Other than that, I work again tomorrow. I'm not sure what is going to happen to me because it is very difficult for me to go anywhere. It makes me not want to go anywhere, but I have to. I may end up putting up my shifts for this coming week if I'm not able to handle the crutches better.
That is a day in the life of the near-crippled Rachel.

Have I ever told you how I feel about my foot?

So, this is for everyone who wanted me to update my blog. I blame you! As anything adventurous in my life (or so it seems), the ending is never a good one. Also, don't read the captions until you read the story or it will give things away.
Today began as a normal day. I woke up, dragged myself out of bed, dressed, got ready, ate breakfast and left for work. I worked for 4 hours before coming home. (Left - waiting in the emergency room check in). Elizabeth came over, we ate lunch, I did homework and took a nap. When I finally let myself get out of bed, I realized that it was time for dinner. It was my turn to make dinner, so I went into the kitchen. Unfortunately, I realized that the dishwasher had NOT actually cleaned the dishes. So, I had to run it through again. We needed a lot of dishes from there, so I decided we would take my desktop computer to Lizzy's apartment and set it up, since my laptop is now working. We packed up the desktop, the monitor separate and a box with my tower, my APC battery backup device, and all cables/peripherals. In short, the box was fairly heavy and rather big. But, I carried that down the three flight of stairs to the street and started to cross the street. I stepped down off the curb. I don't know if I just didn't realize how wide the gutter was, or if I didn't think the ground would be so slanted, or what. Whatever the case may be, I suddenly found myself hurtling toward the ground. I managed to catch myself with my arm, saving my computer from smashing into the pavement, but then I noticed an excruciating pain in my foot. (Right - not very visible, but on the right is the bulge on my foot). Elizabeth came down not too long after. I just sat there in the street clutching my leg and wincing in pain. I had Elizabeth carry the stuff the rest of the way to the car.
I finally made myself get up; I limped over to the car. By the time I got to the car, the pain was so bad that it made me feel dizzy. I thought I was going to fall over. I sat down in the street, again. I could not keep my balance. Sometime during this time, I noticed that a large bump had developed on the right side of my right (injured) foot. After a little while, my head cleared and I drove over to Lizzy's apartment. She carried in the first stuff and she brought out a wrap bandage. I wrapped my foot and then I kind of helped her carry the box into the apartment. I sat down and elevated my foot while I explained to Elizabeth how to set up my computer. Heather called on the phone, so I explained what had happened to her. While I was talking to Heather, one of Lizzy's roommates came and wanted to look at my foot. She said it looked exactly like what happened when she hurt her foot. She had an avulsion fracture. (Left - Waiting in the emergency room). That is where a piece of the bone breaks off. She recommended that I go in to the doctor.
I hadn't been planning on going in because I absolutely HATE going to the doctor, but after that I felt like I should. We finished setting up the computer and then I tried to figure out where to go. The couple of places that I called were already closed. I found out about an instacare place, but they didn't know if they could accept my insurance. I have Blue Cross, but they said if it is a PPO then they don't accept it. I didn't know for sure and I had no way of finding out, but I think my insurance is a PPO, so I couldn't go there.
We left and I suddenly discovered that I could no longer walk at all. The pain was too much. Elizabeth helped me hobble out to the car. I told her that this is one of those times when it is very annoying that she doesn't drive. She agreed.
I drove back to my apartment, made Lizzy go up the three flights of stairs alone, get my insurance card, check online to see where I needed to go, and grab a couple of other things. Then I drove up to the Timpanogos Hospital. That was the only after hours help I could get. I ended up going to the emergency room, with Elizabeth wheeling me in in a wheelchair. It was very weird and I felt like an idiot. I felt even more like an idiot when 5 different people kept asking me how I had injured my foot and I had to explain over and over that I had fallen. (Right - climbing the stairs to my apartment. You can also see my airbrace).
They did x-rays. It took about 3 hours from the time I arrived at the hospital to the time that I left the emergency room with 2 1/2 of those hours waiting in a hospital bed. They were very busy, I guess. The doctor came as the last person to see me. He told me it was just a sprain, although a very bad one. I felt even more like an idiot for going to the emergency room for a sprain. He gave me a prescription, some crutches, and an airbrace. Then I headed out. I had to drive with my left foot all the way home, stopping at Walgreens to get my prescription (large Ibuprofen pills) filled. That was ridiculous.
After getting home, it was a chore to get up the stairs. My foot still hurt too much to put any weight on it so I had to jump up each step while Lizzy carried everything. (Left - still climbing!) We hadn't eaten dinner, so we decided to just eat cereal. While I was on my first bowl, I got a phone call. Can you guess who it was? It was the emergency room. The doctor had looked at my x-rays again and noticed something, so they wanted me to come back in and get a splint. I finished my "dinner" and asked my roommate or one of the two guys at our house looking through our movies, if I could get a ride back to the hospital. I didn't want to try the whole driving with my left foot again. My roommate drove me up to the hospital and we had a short wait before the doctor came to apologize. He then explained that when he had looked at my x-ray again he had seen a fracture, a tiny little fracture, more specifically an avulsion fracture. Well, Lizzy's roommate had been right! So he explained what had happened at that the tip of the bone had been ripped off with the ligament (?) when I had twisted my foot. (Above - my new splint after returning to the hospital). Then a nurse came and put a splint on my leg, saying that he hoped I had showered already because I couldn't get the splint wet and couldn't remove it for at least 24 hours. Oh well, I guess I'm going to work stinky tomorrow.
So, by the time I got back to my apartment, it was 10:30 pm, 5 1/2 hrs from the time that I had injured my foot, 3 1/2-4 hrs since I had first arrived at the emergency room.
Well, I hope you all are happy with yourselves. You, who wanted me to update my blog cursed me into something like this happening! Now I'm going to be in either a splint or a boot for the next 6 weeks!