Dear family

Dear family,
This week has been insanely busy and I’m not exactly sure why. I’ll tell you this much, though, I have barely had time to write in my journal. I’m actually a little behind, but I thought I would write to you while I do laundry.
Ok, I don’t remember who I wrote to first last time, so I guess I will start w/ Elizabeth. So, what exactly are you going to do to prepare for higher education? It sound like a really good goal, but it also doesn’t sound difficult to get 10 hours, depending on what you do. I have forgotten what is your choice and accountability project? That is great that it is done because you don’t have much time left before you will no longer be in YW. Sorry, I didn’t mean to emphasize that last part, but I was talking with someone and I often retrace letters when I get distracted. As for Gizmo, he may be trying to take over, but I don’t really know. That’s really great about your French children’s songbook. They don’t have one по-русски. I don’t think, but we did just get our new Russian hymnals. We were very excited. They came in on Monday of this week. After lunch we went back to our room because we had time before class. We ended up seeing the Russian сёстры and they told us the hymnals had come in, but they had bought the last of them. We had preordered them, and told them so. They told us, they should be there then because there was a huge stack. We hurried off to the bookstore and luckily they had held them for us. We were so excited. You should have seen us. It is really difficult to sing 6 times a day when you only have 60 songs to choose from. That means in 10 days, if you sing all of them, you will have sung every single one. Unfortunately, we weren’t that good about not repeating. Sometimes we would sing the same song 2 or 3 times a day. We were on our way to class and we saw our teacher, брат Снег. We held up our books and said “ВОТ!” (vot=behold) He saw the hymnal and yelled at the top of his lungs, “YEAH!” Then he looked around and said, Sorry! YEAH! And he yelled again. It was very amusing. Unfortunately, he hadn’t reserved a copy, but everyone but one in our District had. We sang for 5 min or more. We were all exited. We now have 207 songs to choose from. That was probably the most exciting thing that happened this week. On Sunday we got to sing from our new hymnals in church.
Ok, mom. Thank you for getting me a fan. That will be really nice to have when I get back. So, I guess Moelina and her kids are getting baptized tomorrow? I hope everything goes great for them. That is so exciting. I know the ward will be good to them as they are to everyone that comes new into the ward. As for the calling, as coordinating sister I am pretty much in charge of the welfare of all the sisters in our branch. That is only my companion and I and the other 2 sisters in our room, so basically 4 total. It is a lot harder than you might think. So, I already told you about a worry I was having in my new calling last week. Even though I know everything is going to be ok, it is still something I worry about иногда (sometimes). Well, in my last report to the President (as coordinating sister I have to report to our branch president every week about the sisters) I asked for his help in knowing what to do to solve the problem. So, on Tuesday night he pulled me out of our district testimony meeting to talk to me. At first he said he didn’t really know what to tell me. As we talked, he told me some things. He told me that he likes me, that I’m a good woman and that he thinks the Lord has some great things in store for me. He told me that I have a maturity that the other sisters don’t have (which is weird because of the 4 of us, I am the youngest). He also told me that he thinks I have some greatness inside of me that has yet to be tapped into. He also said that he thinks the Lord wants me to be a leader and this won’t be my last opportunity to lead. It was nice to hear those things, but at the same time kind of scary. I don’t even really feel like I can handle this, what I do have, and he’s telling me there will probably be more? (Picture - my district filing into the RC for calls) Oh well, if the Lord will give me these things, I know He will help me to do them. Anyway, at the end he gave me some advice. He told me to have a sisters inventory, 2 actually. 1 in which we go around and tell each person 3 things that we love about them. Then another time where we each go around and say one thing we are willing to change to make things work. If that doesn’t help, we may end up having a change in companionships, though I can’t tell any of the other sisters about that, especially if it doesn’t end up being necessary. But, it is a great weight to bear because it will be a decision that will be up to me for the most part. I don’t like making decisions that affect other people. We will see, though.
Ok, as for what Sara didn’t want you to tell me about, tell her that it isn’t something to be embarrassed about, and those are the things she SHOULD write to me about, though she was much better this week.
Finally for Sara. Thank you for telling me about your schedule. I know things always happen, you just have to learn to see them, seriously. What movie did you go see? That sounds like it was a lot of sun, though I’m sorry you got a headache. Ok. I think I have an idea about Gizmo. Maybe you shouldn’t race him. Probably try to avoid anything that he might take as you trying to be me. I hate to say this, but maybe I shouldn’t hear about him anymore unless it is something very important. All it does is make me feel sad that he is having such a hard time w/o me. Though, it does sound like he’s getting a little better. But seriously, he probably stops you because he doesn’t like you doing that since that is what I always do.
Well, I guess that is all. By the way, you can use your judgment as to what to put on the website and what to not. This is for every else: If you want me to write to you, you MUST write to me first. I don’t have time to write to everyone who said they would write me before I get a letter from them. Seriously. Every minute I spend writing letters takes away from something else I can do. Which is why you need to write me first, I don’t want to waste time writing people who won’t write me back.
Love,
Сестра Атвуд
P.S. about those sock things. If you do find black or a darker brown, I would like them in a s sized, my feet are actually a size 7, I just wear big shoes. Also, if you are going to send another package, I would like some clear nail polish and maybe a few other colors that I have .

Hey, mom

Hey, mom, (don’t share this letter w/ Sara right now).
I guess you get another personal letter since I have yet to receive one from dad and Elizabeth and I wrote Sara an individual letter in response to her last one. Please remind dad and Lizzy if they haven’t sent me one yet, that I have faith they can do it if they put their mind to it.
Thanks for writing to tell me about Jordan’s call. I actually got a letter from him the day after I got yours, but it was nice to hear it so quickly. I didn’t know until I got Jordan’s letter that the San Fernando, California mission is the same one Nathan is in. Crazy, huh? They could end up being companions on their mission! How strange would that be?
You should have heard me when I found out what day he was entering the MTC. I said, “SAD!” I said that because he is coming in the same day that I am leaving! Most people leave in the early morning hours, so I probably won’t see him. Unless we end up leaving that night, on the 21st, highly unlikely. Thanks for telling Becky to write me. I sent her a letter several weeks ago, but I haven’t heard from her. I don’t think she’ll ever write me.
What dessert did I give Sara a recipe for? I don’t remember doing that. I guess you know you’ve been in the mTC for too long when you can’t remember a time before you were here.
I think it is good for Elizabeth to get Visiting teachers, even though she is still going to Young Women’s. That will hopefully make her feel more welcome when she starts going to Relief Society. Here is something I just thought of. I’ve never had visiting Teachers in Bismarck. Hmm. That is interesting.
So much has happened this week, I don’t even know where to begin. Our other sisters left this week. We woke up at 3:45 in the morning to see them off. We now only have 4 sisters in our branch. We may be getting new sisters this coming Wed, but we won’t know until tonight. Only 38 Russian speakers are coming in. That is a big contrast from the 80 that just left and the 70 that came in with me. Who knows if there are even any сёстры in that 38. In our branch we only have 36 missionaries right now, but there are 2 other Russian branches that must have around 18 or so each in them, since those who came in with us are the only ones left right now. It is kind of weird to think about. One of the districts in another branch was split in half. I really hope they don’t do that to us.
Let’s see, I also began my responsibilities as coordinating sister. I feel burdened by this responsibility. I kind of had a rough time one day this week. One of the things I was asked to do was bring a bond of sisterhood about. When I was first asked to do that, I thought, that’s all? That’s easy! But then, the night after our сётсры left, I realized what the true extent of the work was going to be. That night I was up for at least an hour, unable to sleep, worrying about what I was going to do. To be fair, that wasn’t the only thing troubling me. I was also thinking about Sara’s letter. I have to admit, it made me king of mad. No, that’s an understatement, it made me REALLY mad and it kind of hurt. She said, “I’m not about to tell you everything that happens to me.” It probably was not meant the way it sounded, but the problem is, she hasn’t told me anything that happened to her except she didn’t go to Youth Conference because she was sick. So, for her to say she wasn’t going to tell me what happened to her told me that things ARE happening, she just doesn’t care enough to share with me. That is why I don’t really want this letter shared with her. I write very personal things in my letters, and if she isn’t even willing to share 1 thing that happens to her, I don’t want to share these personal things.
Anyway, that at that time didn’t really help how I was feeling. I prayed and prayed to know what to do to solve this problem that I saw but nothing came. Finally, I decided I needed to sleep, so I ended my pleading and tried to sleep. The next day I was doing ok, but I felt like I needed to talk to my companion. We had MDT that morning so after teaching брат Снег (one of our teachers) in the TEC and doing OTW, I asked her if we could talk. I mentioned to her what Pres. Fillmore had asked of me and I asked for her help in knowing what to do. I think she might have felt like I was attaching her because part of the problem (even though it shouldn’t be) is that she and сестра Egan have a good relationship and сестра Egan’s companion, сестра Christensen, sometimes feels left out and not a part of things. So, it didn’t go as well as I had hoped, but she suggested I bring it up to the whole group. I didn’t really want to do that because I thought they might not want to say what was really on their minds, but I decided it was a good idea anyway. This problem stayed on my mind through lunch and into our next class. Брат Снег (Brother Snow-sorry, I don’t remember if I’ve mentioned that before, or not) came to teach. We started with BoM study. While I was studying, I kind of forgot my worries, but towards the end, I started thinking about it again, and I was hoping to be able to find an answer in the scriptures. My companion needed to use the bathroom, so I went along, bring my BoM with. When we got in there, I kind of sat down against the wall and put my head in my book. The thought kept going through my head, what am I doing? I don’t know what I’m doing, I can’t do this. When сестра Вилсон came out she asked me if I was ok and I kind of just lost it. I told her maybe Pres Fillmore would release me. She tried comforting me by telling me this is good for me and that I CAN do this. It didn’t really work, because that didn’t solve my problem. Then she said maybe I should talk to Сестра Christensen to see what she would like done. Well, I started trying to compose myself to go back to class. While I was doing that, Сестра Egan and Сетсра Christensen came into the bathroom. They asked me what was wrong, but I couldn’t really tell them at that time. That day I was wearing a skirt that I loved that Сестрв Nielson had had. The first time I saw her wearing it, I was so surprised because it was almost exactly the kind of skirt I had wanted to find but hadn’t found. Anyway, I actually took a picture of me in the skirt so I could send it to you to see if you could find me one like it. Then, Sunday morning (this last one) I found it in a box w/ a note from her telling me she wanted me to have it. Anyway, I was really excited, but I felt bad because everyone else loved it, too, so I didn’t really show anyway. Well, this day I had decided to wear it. After the сётсры came into the bathroom and asked me what was wrong, сестра Christensen noticed my skirt. She asked me if сестра Nielson had given it to me and when I said, yes, she asked me if she could wear it. I said yes, but not right now. Сестра Egan said, why not? And we all ended up trading clothing before going back to class. We went back to class, but even though we had switched w/ the сёстры, we figured everyone would think we had gone back to our room to change. We walked in, trying to keep a straight face and not laugh. Брат Снег looked at us, and started to say something, but then he ignored it and continued on. We had set up a time to switch clothes back, 1 hour later. We went to the bathroom at the allotted time. Well, my district was in the lab at the time. During lab time, our teachers do interviews. Брат Снег was in the hallway, so he saw our сёстры before they went into the bathroom. He gave them a funny look. He later told me that he was like, “Hey! Those are the сёстры’s clothes!” We switched back and went back to class. It was really funny because just before that брат Снег had asked us if we had changed clothes and Сестра Вилсон denied it outright. It was really funny. We pretty much confused everyone.
It was interesting though, while I was worrying about what to do to build a bond of sisterhood, my prayer was answered and something was given to me. We couldn’t have planned that, but it helped a lot. Things aren’t perfect, but now I have proof that if I just have faith, Heavenly Father will help us to build this bond, to become united, and to love one another. It was interesting because the next day, I found an answer in the scriptures as well. Like I said, everything isn’t perfect and we are starting to do spot lights to try to bring us closer, but I don’t feel as overwhelmed or burdened as I did before. There is still a lot of work to do, and I don’t know how that is all going to work, but the answers will come.
I don’t really have anything else. Oh, I’ll send more pictures later.
Love,
Сестра Атвуд
P.S. You haven’t really answered any questions I’ve written in my letters. You should go through them and do that.

Dear Sara

Dear Sara,
You kind of get a personal letter from me because I wanted to tell you a few things. First, I was kind of hurt by what you said to me in your last letter. Then I was actually kind of mad. You said, “I’m not about to tell you everything about me.” Well, Sara, the sad thing is, you haven’t even told me something about you. That’s all I was asking for.
So here’s the thing, if you don’t care enough about me to share something of yourself, you don’t have to write me anymore. But, you can’t read my letters anymore. Relationships are 2-way, it can’t be one person giving and the other taking. That’s really all I can say, if you can’t share even a little something about yourself, you have no right and no claim to reading my letters which are VERY personal to me.
If you DO want to write me, you can only write as much about Gizmo as you write about yourself, otherwise I’ll let Lizzy tell me about Gizmo.
Anyway, I do love you, but we can’t have a real relationship if you won’t converse with me.
Love,
Сестра Атвуд

Hey family

Hey family,
Crazy to think I’ve been here an entire month, huh? I just wanted to send a quick note because I was wondering if my last 2 letters arrived safe and sound. I sent them in unusual envelopes (that I made) and it occurred to me that maybe they were having a hard time getting there as a result. Well, let me know if you received them. I hope you did because I don’t remember what I wrote to write again.
Love
Сестра Атвуд

Family

August 3, 2005
Family, (семья́)

Утром, мы переéхали. Сейчас, мы живем на четвёртом этáже. (This morning, we moved. Now, we live on the 4th floor). We used to live on the 1st floor of our building, so it was rather difficult to get my heavy luggage up the stairs, but пóмошью (with the help) моей сестёр (of my sister), somehow we managed. Don’t ask me how, it was exhausting. Though, we actually moved last night. The rooms we were moving into were empty, so we figured, почемý нет? (Why not?)
Well, so far I’ve only received one letter to reply to, so I’ll go for that. Sara, that’s too bad you couldn’t go to youth conference. I’m also óчень рáда (very glad- if you are female, sorry, dad, you can’t use that) that Gizmo isn’t attacking you as much. If you are in there enough, when I come home, he may feel that way about me. That would be very sad. You can tell Elizabeth that she better be able to change the litter box when you are in there, even if your music is playing because Gizmo comes first. If she can’t sacrifice her ears for Gizmo, then she will answer to me. – Oh, I love the paper and envelopes!
We had a really good MTC devotional last night. I sang in the choir again, конéчно ! (of course) Elder L. Lionel Kendrick spoke. One thing that he said that really stuck out to me went a little something like this: “You were called to be successful.” That is so true. The Lord called me on this mission, to Russia, of all places, not to fail, or even to make me feel like I will fail, but to succeed. (Picture - Sisters Skabelund, Johnson, and me. Sister Johnson was in a class with me at BYU) After the devotional, we had a short discussion and testimony meeting. It was great. One thing happened that really surprised me. I guess I need to explain something first. I’ve told you about the RC (referral center) right? This is the building where we go to take calls for media. We also do outbound calling which is a follow-up on the inbound calls. Anyway, last Saturday, one of the стáрейшины in мой округ (my district) wasn’t doing outbound calls like he was supposed to do. He was only taking inbound. I guess I need to explain something first. I’ve told you about the RC (referral center), right? This is the building where we go to take calls for media. We also do outbound calling which is a follow-up on the inbound calls. Anyway, last Saturday, one of the старейшины in мой округ (my district) wasn’t doing outbound calls like he was supposed to do. He was only taking inbound. I asked him if he was going to do outbound and he said no because he’s not good at it and people always yell at him. Well, I shook my head at him (you know, with a disappointed look on my face) and told him, how do you expect to get better if you don’t try? I also told him to suck it up and do it and shared a scripture with him, I think it was Alma 32:17 (it should talk about having a desire to believe, exercise that particle of faith and you will). Anyway, he told me I wasn’t going to guilt him into it. Soon after, he got a message to log into predictive (the program that does outbound calls) so he finally did. We also went to the RC yesterday. Now, back to our testimony meeting. This старейшина mentioned what I had said to him (not the suck it up and do it part, the other part) and said how true that is. He also said that he had some really good conversations with people that morning while doing outbound calls. He then THANKED me for chastising him. I had no idea that what I said to him would stick with him, or that he would eventually appreciate me admonishing him to do good. Now, perhaps you see what I am getting at. That is what I am here to do; besides testify of Christ, I am here to cry repentance unto the people of the world and though at first they may not like what I am saying and may not heed my words, those who truly desire to believe and be righteous will be grateful later (if I do it in the right way). So many times people are afraid to say anything because they don’t want to offend anyone, and that’s good, but sometimes things need to be said. As a servant of the Lord, my DUTY is to call people to repentance and I think perhaps that will be easier for me to understand from now on.
It is truly amazing what I am learning to do here, not only as far as making envelopes and such, but also to do with talking to people and listening to them. It is great. I am so glad that I am leaving in a month and a half, though. Well, I guess it’s 7 weeks, barely under 2 months. Next week will be our half-way mark, ура! I still have a lot to learn and I wonder if I will ever truly be prepared to go to Russia. I guess we will find out.
My jaw started hurting yesterday. It only hurts when I chew, but it makes it very difficult for me to eat, so that kind of sucks. If it doesn’t feel better tomorrow, I think I will go to the health clinic.
Just so you know, I have enclosed an old copy of my first lesson so you can see what it is like for me. This is only the last without the new material we added, but it is pretty close to the complete version. We teach that this week and next week. Then we start on the 2nd lesson. That will be fun.
Man, my hand hurts from writing, so I guess I will just have to write more later, hopefully after I have received more letters.

08-04-05
Something really sad happened yesterday. One of the Elders in the other district that came in at the same time as me, went home. I don’t know all the details, which is good, but it is still sad. All I know is that he said he is sick. I don’t know if he’ll be able to come back. Even though that is sad, I’m glad it was not one of our elders (I mean in my district). I can’t imagine not having them there. Things would be so different. I know the MTC is a difficult place to be, but I have faith in all of them, that they can do it. It worries me a little, though, that THEY don’t always know that. PLEASE pray for them . . . pray for them to know of God’s love and to know that he will help them to get through this. I don’t want to see any of them give up. Я знаю что они будут хорошо. (I know they’ll be good) Я знаю это. (I know this) Мне надо to use мои слова (I need to use my words). Сегодня, I am wearing Сестра Shelton’s рубашка, и Сестра Nielson’s юбка. We do that a lot here so we don’t get sick of our clothes. It is fun. I am trying to learn the days of the week, but мне трудно, я не знаю почему. So, I will tell you (я скажу вам), starting with Sunday: воскресенье, понедельник, вторник, среда, четверг, пятница, суббота.

08-05-05
Anyway, I got the package yesterday. It seriously felt like Christmas! It was great. Everything was perfect, though the nail polish wasn’t exactly the color I wanted, it was still good. Probably the best thing besides pictures were the letters. I love hearing from you. You have no idea how long the weeks are if you don’t get mail. Each day feels like a week in itself, I’m not kidding.
Ok, let’s see, I guess I’ll start answering letters. I’ll go the opposite direction this time, from oldest to youngest. I guess that means you, mom. The socks are great, at least I hope they will do what I want them to do. It will be hard to know for a while because I have to make my shoes not stink first. It’s really bad, the women’s dorm always smells like feet. That’s great you got to go through a session with dad. I was really excited I got to go through one with my entire district last week. This week 4 of our старейшины were in our session. Afterwards, we went and did sealings. That was great, too. My companion and 4 старейшины from the other district were in the room, so the dealer kept explaining what things meant. He even explained the difference between a live and proxy sealing. It was great.
That’s too bad about Moelina and her kids, but I have faith that they can do it if they really want it.
About the pictures, I LOVED the ones you sent. I would like a picture of Aunt Linda and her family (you know, at least Jordan if not Darrell, too). You know, depending on what you can get. I would also like a picture of my roommates. The easiest way would be to get them off my website. They are on the “My Roommates” page, or since I gave dad a copy of all that stuff, you should be able to take the CD and print them off from there. Let’s see, pretty much anything else would be good. Hey, did you know, I had never seen those pictures of Lizzy and Sara at the park. Where and when were those taken, do you know? You know, the ones on the tire swing and see-saw. You sent me 2 copies of Clarence’s senior picture. I didn’t know if you wanted one for yourself, so I have sent that back for you. I would also like a copy of my sea turtle picture from Hawaii and maybe another one from then. They should be in the last book that has pictures in it on my white shelf. That would be really great. I can’t think of anything else in particular. Oh, maybe a picture from Erin’s wedding. How about one of the three of us and maybe one from the ceremony. Dad should have those. Hmmm…let’s see. Do you have another good picture of Becky? I have some of Lizzy and Sara separate, but only ones with Becky in a group. I also only have 2 pictures total of dad, so maybe another of that. Could you also send me a picture of ‘Lil Ben? Those should also be on the CD of my webpage or on “My Pets” webpage. I would LOVE that. Other than that, if you find a picture you want to send me, that will be great, too. Everyone who has seen the one of me when I was little really liked it. If you find any other cute ones, I wouldn’t mind more of that. You are the best.
Now, this part is to all of you. You don’t know how much it means to me that you support me in all that I do. It means a lot because it makes it easier to keep on going when the going gets tough. Well, that and the fact that my branch president told me even if I wanted to go home, he wouldn’t let me AND моя напарница told me she would kill me if I went home, or give me a good reason to go home. I don’t know why she said that to me, well I guess it is because of what happened with the other старейшина.
Ok, now dad. Lucky day! Well, I hope everything goes well on your trip. That sounds like a long drive, all the way to Maine, so be careful and safe. Thanks for the advice on the calls. I’ve been very lucky. I’ve only had hang-ups for my bad calls, but I’ve had so many good ones, too. I really enjoy it . . . after I do it, but every time I have to pray for strength to be able to do it, but I know that the Lord helps me because I do it anyway and He sends me good calls so I can keep on doing it.
Elizabeth, thank you so much for taking care of my cat. That really means a lot to me. But WHY on EARTH did you sing Happy Birthday to Sugar on the 1st of August? Did you forget that her REAL birthday is July 29? Besides, she can’t have the same birthday as our cousin. So, don’t forget her birthday next year! I think that’s really great that you are doing a second personal and family history. You can put my letters in, but only copies. If mom and dad don’t want the originals, than I do.
Sara, even though I LOVE hearing about Gizmo, I want to hear about YOU, too. So don’t forget to include yourself in your letters. As for Gizmo, that is really funny that he is hiding under the covers. Почему? What have you done to him to make him hide from you? Я шучу! (I’m kidding). Seriously though, be patient with him. He is obviously having a rough time with you moving in on his turf. Hold that to the fact that he hasn’t seen me in a month, and what is he to assume but that you did something to me to keep me away and cause me to not come back so you could take my room? As for the biting, when he does that or even comes close to it, gently, but firmly, tap him on the nose and say, “No! You don’t bite!” I can’t really think of anything else to do. You might want to get a squirt bottle to squirt him when he bites you or scratches you. I hope that helps. Just be nice to him and give him attention when he wants it and show him that you love him, if you can (j/k).
Well, that’s all for answering letters. There was one other thing I wanted to say, but I can’t think of it right now, so I guess I won’t be able to tell you about that . . . Hmmm . . . I don’t know. Perhaps I’ll think of it for next time.
Oh, this isn’t it, but it’s something else good. Did I tell you that there is a new Russian hymn book? The one we’ve been using only has 60 hymns or so, but the new one has 207! We are so excited, but they are on backorder. (Picture - new hymn books!!) We don’t know when we are going to be getting them in, but we are all excited to have more to choose from.
Oh, I remembered! Our district is writing down our conversion stories to be typed up and made into a book for all of us. We are very excited about that. We will also be making a district directory with names, contact information and a little about the person. We may combine them. It will be great.

Love,
Сестра Атвуд