no news, is good news?

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!
I can’t believe that another week has already come and gone. It seems so weird that I have almost been with Sister Дэлгэрцэцэг (Delgertsetseg) for a month! I must admit that time seems to be getting faster and faster as the days go on.
I’m feeling a little better this week, though my head seems to constantly hurt and I am always tired and the stress I’m feeling is worse than last week, but there is some comforting news. I don’t know if it’s really comforting, but I found out why we are moving, just not where. Basically, we were told that it is 95% positive that we are leaving Энгельс (Engels). They haven’t decided where we are going yet, but they’ve already put in our notice with the landlady and even some of the members know about it, so it seems to be official. That makes me sad because I really love Энгельс. I think Энгельс is the first city that I haven’t been ready to leave when the notice came. In fact, I kind of went into shock when I found out that we weren’t just switching apartments but also switching cities. At first I thought I felt better, but the next day I realized that it was 10 times worse than how I thought I had felt. I couldn’t even sit still during study time so I made борш (borsch) (it was really good by the way. I’ll have to make it for you when I get home) while I studied. Pretty much everyday I have that same feeling while we are in our apartment. I can’t handle being home without doing a million things to try to keep my mind off of it. I guess I feel a little better because I’ve seen a little the reason why we are leaving. We have a lot of work here and I still think that sisters are needed, but also, like I came to believe a long time ago, sometimes it is better for the relief society for sisters to leave so they start doing more. When sisters aren’t around to visit the less active sisters, the active members start to take more responsibility on themselves. Though, I haven’t noticed that kind of problem here. The other thing is that I think right now our investigators also need a change. I think they could settle for a change in sisters, but I guess the Lord has something else in mind. It will be really hard to work in a new area for a month before coming home, especially if I end up opening another city with my greenie who still doesn’t speak much Russian and now speaks less English. But, I have faith that the Lord knows what he is doing.
Well, now I’ll take a little time to respond to your emails. Thanks to everyone who wrote me this week, mom, dad, Lizzy, Sara, grandma and grandpa. I really enjoyed reading your emails this week. Thanks for the information, dad, I’ll let that Elder know. I’m sure he’ll be interested. Mom, I’m glad that you won a prize for your chili. I’m sure that was fun for the missionaries to judge the contest. Sara, you really shouldn’t waste time writing so little, but at least it was a little more interesting this time. You and Lizzy have really similar personalities, even though you may not believe it. You’ll have to show me pictures of your costume when I get home. Grandpa, it sounds like you had a very eventful birthday, and a good one at that. I love surprises and your day was full of them! I don’t know if you meant to do this, or if you even noticed, but in the subject line you wrote “weakly letter”. It wasn’t weak at all! It was very interesting, and even if you don’t get around to writing every week, at least there is a lot when you finally do write. For me, quality is more important than quantity. Lizzy, I hope you get a job. A lot of times when we have no job experience, we have to begin by settling for fast food. Just do well at whatever job you do get and things will be fine. I didn’t know that Halloweentown is out on DVD! Did you get one for me? 
Ok, now, let’s see, what else is new. Well, last Thursday I was feeling really stressed out and I told my DL how I was feeling and then I turned off my cell phone and turned the other phone way down so it wouldn’t disturb me and we went to bed early. I told the DL that he didn’t have to tell the ZL’s because there wasn’t anything that they could do to help it, but I guess he did anyway because they called me the next morning. At first, they told me that they had thought off all the missionaries in their zone, and since I was the best, they decided to have me speak at our conference with President Paul (I’m not really exactly sure what his calling is because he is taking the place of President Neuenschwander who went home because his wife has cancer). Then they started asking all these questions that gave it away that my DL had told them what I had said the night before. They started saying that if I have too much to do, they could find someone else to do it. Then they asked how I am feeling and if the fact that we are moving is making me feel stressed. When I said, a little, he asked, you don’t want to move? I said, of course not! Then he said something that at that time didn’t make sense. He said, we don’t want you to either, we said, No! We are keeping our sisters here, but President said otherwise. Well, that makes sense when you understand that you aren’t just switching apartments but actually getting transferred, but at that time I had no clue and I was a little confused. They were really trying to be understanding, but at that time I felt better when I didn’t think about everything. Since then they have been really nice and understanding and giving me compliments on the work I do and all that kind of stuff. Usually that would bug me, in fact, I think that it would have bugged me no matter what before my mission, but I guess I have changed a lot because now it doesn’t really. Maybe that is only because I trust them and I know they are doing that because they care and not to make me feel weak or something like that. They also don’t want me to get sick because of the stress and all that I have to do. Even though my companion is really willing to do things, there are still a lot of things that she just can’t do because of the language limitations. Anyway, since I found out that we are leaving, I’ve been trying to align my will with the Lord and I’ve almost gotten to the point where I want to leave. But, I’m afraid that if I do that, then it won’t happen, so I’m trying to keep a more neutral (I have no idea how to spell that word anymore!) feeling about the whole thing so that no matter what, I will be happy.
Let’s see, other than that, there is some not so good news. One of our investigators basically stopped wanting to meet with us since Silva left. She doesn’t have time, she claims, but she always found time when Silva was here. That makes me sad, but I keep inviting her to activities just in case. Other than that, one of our investigators who last week told me that she won’t come and won’t get baptized but then let us come talk to her, has also gone cold. I don’t know what happened because last week she thanked God that we come to her, but this week, it was an awful feeling I had when I talked to her on the phone. Well, its her choice, but the sad part is that I think she has a testimony (if only just a little one) and that she just doesn’t want to change. Maybe she is afraid of change, or maybe she is afraid of believing and won’t even admit it to herself, but now she has completely cut us off. I’ll try again next week and we will see what happens, but there isn’t much hope where she is concerned.
Tomorrow, we are going to a city called Ершов (Ershov). I’m not exactly sure where it is located, I just know that it is about 3 hours from here by car. We have an investigator there who is golden and wants to be baptized. Her parents don’t want her to get baptized so that is hard. It is also hard because the church is not in Ершов right now. There are no missionaries, no branch and there is one family of members but because they live so far away, they can’t come to church and are never able to meet with the missionaries. So, even if she were to get baptized, it would be very difficult for her. It will probably be the last time that we see her because of the transfer. She already knows and it will be very hard to part. I really love her and want to see her succeed and want to see her parents change their hearts. But, the good news is, at least they are ok with her meeting us and tomorrow we will be meeting her mother for the first time.
The rest of this week is going to be very eventful because we will be in Ершов all day tomorrow and then on Friday we have that conference (where I have to talk) and then on Saturday and Sunday we have district conference. I’m glad that we have so much to do because I feel better when I don’t have any time to sit and think. Then, next week we should find out for sure if we are moving and where we will be going and all that stuff. Then, the next week after that, we head out to wherever we will be going. Its going to be crazy if we really are leaving because I’ll have to pack and say good-bye to everyone and then I will really only have a month before I have to do exactly the same thing. That is enough time to get to know everyone and get comfortable in the work only to be yanked out and sent home. Yikes, it will certainly be interesting.
Well, I guess that is about all I have to say for this week. I am really glad that you are all writing me. I enjoy hearing about your days when I am so far away. The last little while I have been thinking a lot about what I did last year at this time and it is hard for me to believe that I was in Russia. How is it possible that I have already been living in a foreign country among strangers who have now become family and friends for over a year? How is it possible that so much time has passed that seemed so long when all this began. The MTC seemed like forever and then it was over, and the mission seemed like even longer and it too has almost passed. Its kind of sad and kind of exciting. I really do love this work, and if it weren’t for the hard days and the inability to see all of you, I would happily spend the rest of my days in the service of the Lord. It is truly the one time when you can forget about yourself and think only of others. I used to wonder how the sons of Mosiah could spend 14 years serving a mission and now I know. When you love a people and want to see them receive the blessings that you have received, you don’t mind the time spent serving them. I do not regret serving a mission. To many people, especially here, it is not understandable how we can sacrifice so much to serve people we don’t know and they really don’t understand how our parents were able to let us go, but I don’t think anyone involved here has regretted this for a minute. Maybe we haven’t seen each other in a long time, I have missed out on a lot of happenings at home and you haven’t seen how I’ve grown, but what is a year and a half when we have a life-time ahead of us? Many people have said, I wouldn’t have let my son or daughter go, but that is because they don’t understand the importance of this work. They don’t have a testimony that this is what the Lord wants them to do, and that is why they think they could not make a similar sacrifice.
Well, that is it for now.
Love you all,
Сестра Атвуд

P.S. Thanks for all your prayers and thoughts, it means a lot to me.
(I've posted pictures randomly on here from the Halloween Party at the branch. The first picture is one of the member boys, me in my costume holding Катя (Katya) the daughter of a member we were working with, and Elder Page. Second - the branch members singing a song. Third - the member kids bobbed for apples.)